Sunday, January 1, 2012

If I were a video game, which would I be and why? - (Mark C.)

This sounds like a ThinkGeek University application question.  Therefore, I shall respond in five paragraph essay format (sans the archaic double spacing).  What up Catholic prep school?!?

If I Were A Video Game, Which Would I Be And Why
By: Kristin LeFeber a.k.a. The Video Game Voyeur

Video games are an integral part of modern day society in America.  Gaming has begun to define who we are as a nation (a bunch of superheroes).  Like television, radio and other forms of entertainment, video games encourage us to pretend to be someone we are not.  I am too much of a realist.  So, If I were a video game, I would clearly be a Supermarket Sweep, WarioWare, super stay at home mom, domestic goddess speed challenge type game.

According to Wikipedia, "Supermarket Sweep is an American television game show. Part of the format was similar to other team-based quiz shows; the other part was a live-action race through a supermarket, a novel concept at the time."  I used to love watching this show.  There is nothing quite like watching a married 80's couple in matching red sweatshirts and white Keds toss eight huge fresh turkeys and seven garden hoses into a shopping cart.  Supermarket Sweep embodies my love of grocery shopping (and avoids my laundry loathing) with my love of just the right amount of cheesy.  Cheesiness that is akin to greeting cards and high-fiving or thumbs-upping.  I love all that stuff. 

Like Supermarket Sweep, the Nintendo Wii game, WarioWare, is fast paced and requires a lack of shame to succeed.  Yes, WarioWare is one of the few video games I have dared to play and it was amazing.  Again, quoting Wikipedia, "Gameplay in all WarioWare games is distinct from most other games, as they involve the player or players trying to beat the microgames (less than 5 seconds) as soon as possible. Most games present instructions in the form of  a verb and quickly drop the player into the situation where they must perform said verb."  One minute you are swinging the Wii-mote to "chop" a log, the next minute you are flapping your arms wildly to "fly".  And while fun to play, my friends, it was never lost on this voyeur how fun it is to watch (the other players look like fools.)

As I have made clear, I enjoy games that are fast paced and goofy.  These type of games reflect my personality.  It is almost impossible for me to do anything slowly.  I talk quickly, I think quickly, I move around the house in a flurry, I rarely sit still.  My tendency for speed (and silliness, too) has served me well as a mom.  Despite having two little girls, I am often out of the house earlier than planned.  If I happen to forget a bib or a snack, I can think fast and be resourceful.  When I read books, I do the voices.  When they get antsy at the store I devise quirky quips to distract their attention.  Motherhood is mostly about simply surviving each new challenge as it comes along, after all.

In conclusion, if I were a video game I would be a non-stop series of mini and micro games that (using Wii or Kinect type technology) require the player to perform domestically related tasks as quickly as possible.  Quick! mix the formula before the infant cries.  Hurry! get the chopped veggies in the pan before the oil gets too hot.  Run! collect the recycling before the truck pulls away.  Earn rewards for each stage of games completed such as lattes, minutes lying on the couch and maybe even manicures.  Video games have become a big part of our culture.  Embrace them by becoming one.  It's fun.    


  1. Great kick off post, Keet! I share your love of Supermarket Sweep, man, I miss that show.

  2. Thanks babe. Do you think NDP would be proud? :)