Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Laundry Achievement Points - (Darcy B.)

Laundry is my least favorite.  Here are some reasons why:

1. I am bad at it.  Though, I suppose it is unclear whether I despise it because I am bad at it or I am bad at it because I despise it.  Either way, I am a lousy laundress.  I usually wait to do wash until the piles seem insurmountable.  And then, instead or sorting by color, I sort by person.  I will dig through an enormous heap of dirty laundry and pick out every last thing that is mine, shove it all into one load and finish it first.  Because, heck, if I have to wash all of these clothes I am surely gonna have something cute (and clean) to wear while I do it.

2. It's way down in the basement.  This has nothing to do with agility or strength and everything to do with out of sight, out of mind.  I cannot hear my washer on the first floor and my dryer does not buzz.  Therefore, I have left many a load wet and limp or dry and wrinkling until the next morning.  Not only does this make me feel even more inept than I already do, it draws out this heinous process until, well, I don't even bother making the trip down the stairs. 

3. Socks.  They are somehow ubiquitous and elusive at the same time.  Just today, I found five baby socks in the living room alone.  It does not help that my 10-month-old removes her socks often and with the stealth of a ninja.  They are her favorite toys, after all.  She loves to wave them (and subsequently fling them) around like she is about to set sail.  To make matters worse I had the brilliant idea to buy the girls large packs of matching socks for Christmas.  I must have been in a stuff-the-stockings shopping stupor because now, while I am tirelessly attempting to match socks I must make sure the tiny sizes match too.  My grandfather used to safety pin his pairs together.  I will never do this, of course, but I no longer think it is ridiculous. 

4. It never ends.  Most domestic chores are like this, I know.  But, laundry is different.  It permeates the entire house.  Even if all the clothes were miraculously clean, what about the sheets?  towels?  snuggle-in-front-of-the-television quilts?  curtains?  dish towels?  throw rugs?  winter coats?  `Oh boy, I need to stop.  I am shvitzing.

I don't know what Laundry Achievement Points are, but I certainly like the sound of them.  I can't entirely avoid doing laundry so it would be fabulous to unlock some LAP in the process.  Let's mull this around, shall we?  To be continued...


  1. Hmm... so who will award LAP? Me? And how will you use this LAP once you have it? Maybe you could cash it in for a foot rub.

  2. Good, good. Keep the juices flowing. We will work out the details of LAP in an upcoming post v soon.