Let me set the scene for you: It's a weekday, say Tuesday, at around 1:30 p.m. I have successfully orchestrated the day so that the girls are both napping and I have a few minutes to myself to, I don't know, fold laundry and eat lunch. I decide to watch some Gilmore Girls to unwind. I approach the 360 and open the tray and then BAM!, like a whammy the Gears of War 3 skull of death icon on the game's disc slaps me in the face.
A similar moment plays out in the evening, say later that same day, at around 8:30 p.m. My husband and I now, thanks to the little ones sharing a 7:30 bedtime, have the living room to ourselves to, I don't know, play video games and write blogs. He decides to play some Gears to unwind. He approaches the 360 and opens the tray and then La la la la la la, there is the beautiful Lauren Graham gazing longingly on the show's disc to bring a smile to his face.
Life is not fair.
What is fair is that while my husband plays Gears, which is so beautiful it is ugly, he wears his groovy new headset. While I am no prude, this game has no filter. It is loud and crass and relentless just like me...wait.
Anyway, as I was saying, the dialogue leaves much to be desired which I suppose may be part of the game's charm. I do, however, enjoy reading it quite a bit. See, my husband wears the headset, but the game still shows subtitles. It is my own personal MST 3000. I also play, "things you never want to hear your husband say" while I watch. Examples:
"That was nasty. Let's move out."
"Yeah, imagine if you had to root around for parts all the time."
"Spread out and keep moving!"
In short, I would rather just listen to this video game on tape, but that is so 1989.