Wednesday, October 5, 2011

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

Marriage changes everything, well, except for one thing.  Marriage does not change who you were before you got married.  This may sound promising to all you negative nuptial nancies out there.  However, all this means is that you were one person before you got married and now you are someone else.

Even if you agree on the correct way to fold socks you now fold your socks in the company of another.  Instead of lounging on your bean bag chair, drooling cup o' noodles on your boxers while rolling socks in front of Family Guy, you will now be relaxing on your duvet, sipping herbal tea in your slippers while rolling socks in front of reality TV.  Life will never be the same.

It will be better.

My husband and I have a dear friend, the best man at our wedding, who, for the sake of this blog I will refer to as "The Raptor".  The Raptor is getting married himself in a few short days.  We are both very excited and, no, not just because those will be our first nights away since baby #2.

Even though he has been accused of being "too cheap to buy, so he only rents and then beats it all weekend" and plays games "shrieking like a schoolgirl", The Raptor is a gamer all the same.  Sadly, there is a double standard when it comes to past times and romantic relationships.  Women can hot glue who knows what to who knows what else until the cows come home, but if a guy wants to play a few video games now and again he is an immature home wrecker.

My husband remains somewhat positive, "The Raptor is getting married.  Hopefully this will translate into more gaming.  Once he started dating his fiance, all his Xbox time went from gaming to 'watching Netflix'.  As I know, 'watching Netflix' tapers off significantly after a few months of marriage."

Another married in his gaming circle feels differently, "The Raptor has moved into the next phase of gaming, which is NOT gaming.  Virtual friendships wither and die, hand-eye coordination takes a turn for the worst, and sniping skills aren't what they used to be.  Bridge club is next."

A third hitched buddy upholds The Raptor's gaming reputation, "He's meticulous, methodical, sneaky, and a little bit blood-thirsty.  He enjoys taking his time and paying attention to detail as long as there is a tempestuous climax.  My advice to him?  Take it to the bedroom."

Sorry Rap, there is a "but."  And here it is... 

"When the honeymoon is over and the dew is off the pumpkin (or something like that), 'gaming' may not be as frequent as you had once thought to be reasonable.  Just remember you can always play with your Game Boy.  Classic fun."

My professional thoughts on the issue?  All married couples have at least one thing to which all their arguments boil down.  Do not make that issue gaming or hot glue.  Yes, two do become one, but the original "ones" do not become none.  Respect eachother's interests and sometimes play together.  Maybe there is money, or enjoyment, or at least a laugh in video game themed crafts, for example.  X and Y button cufflinks anyone?

All this to say,  I am very happy for The Raptor.  He more than deserves all the love and excitement his marriage will undoubtedly bring.  I wish him and his soon to be wife a heap of happiness.  In fact, now that I think about it, I wish them "50 grand peas" worth.

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