Just another day in paradise

Let me set the scene for you: It's a weekday, say Tuesday, at around 1:30 p.m.  I have successfully orchestrated the day so that the girls are both napping and I have a few minutes to myself to, I don't know, fold laundry and eat lunch.  I decide to watch some Gilmore Girls to unwind.  I approach the 360 and open the tray and then BAM!, like a whammy the Gears of War 3 skull of death icon on the game's disc slaps me in the face. 
So scary.

A similar moment plays out in the evening, say later that same day, at around 8:30 p.m.   My husband and I now, thanks to the little ones sharing a 7:30 bedtime, have the living room to ourselves to, I don't know, play video games and write blogs.  He decides to play some Gears to unwind.  He approaches the 360 and opens the tray and then La la la la la la, there is the beautiful Lauren Graham gazing longingly on the show's disc to bring a smile to his face. 
So sexy.

Life is not fair.

What is fair is that while my husband plays Gears, which is so beautiful it is ugly, he wears his groovy new headset.  While I am no prude, this game has no filter.  It is loud and crass and relentless just like me...wait.

Anyway, as I was saying, the dialogue leaves much to be desired which I suppose may be part of the game's charm.  I do, however, enjoy reading it quite a bit.  See, my husband wears the headset, but the game still shows subtitles.  It is my own personal MST 3000.  I also play, "things you never want to hear your husband say" while I watch.  Examples:

"That was nasty.  Let's move out."
"Yeah, imagine if you had to root around for parts all the time."
"Spread out and keep moving!"

Yikes.

In short, I would rather just listen to this video game on tape, but that is so 1989.

Do your ears hang low?

As I type this, my husband is playing video games AND participating in a conference call for work.  Hot.  That's right ladies...did I mention he is also 6'1"?

In his defense (and I always am), he has worked long hours all week and he is mostly just listening in on the call.  Plus, Gears of War 3 just came out yesterday.  A man's gotta be a man.

I haven't watched much of Gears yet, but I have watched quite a bit of Deus Ex: Human Revolution.  Please forgive me, I couldn't figure out how to make a groovy little triangle on my computer to make the "A" in Human.  Besides, aren't the triangles the bad guys?  This confuses me.

Another fault I have related to this game is my inability to say the game's name correctly.  I insist on calling it "Deuce Ex."  In fact, I don't think I have ever called it anything else.  Despite the fact that it sounds like a laxative, I think I prefer my name.  What the deuce is a "deus" anyway?

I like watching "Deuce."  I especially like when my husband approaches the game all sneaky pete like.  Apparently, that is one of the perks of this game.  It can suit your mood.  If you want to go at it guns a blazin, you can.  Or, if you want to take it slow and try to go unseen you can do that too.  Variety is always a bonus in my book.

This is the first I have seen of Deus Ex.  I look forward to seeing more.  From the look of these "hold" icons the game is well endowed.  And I have heard it can take awhile to load.  Hilarious.  Am I the only one who notices these things?!?

Hear me meow

I had a lovely holiday weekend at home.  One of the nights, my husband grilled a succulent salmon for our dinner.  He chilled white wine and brought the laptop to the table to play some music.  Soon after we finished eating he pulled up an online list of the best upcoming 360 games.  How romantic.

I suppose it was thoughtful of him to give me the heads up on what I will be watching (and you will be reading).  He thought I might need blog fodder.  Blog fodder.  That sounds naughty...or Irish.  I'll blog your fodder.

Anyway, here is a recap of our "intimate" dinner conversation:

Gears of War 3 is coming out in September.  All I remember about the previous game is the chainsaw gun.  Time to "gear" up for some more quality hacking.

As I mentioned in a previous post, Battlefield 3 will be launching soon.  I'll reluctantly give it a chance.  Maybe the dudes in this game will have better butts than the competition.  

Saints Row: The Third is certain to hit my house in early January.  Helping my husband skank out his female figure (he often plays as a girl...more on this in a future post) equals Happy New Years to me.

Other games I am sure I will watch include: Mass Effect 3, BioShock Infinite and Assassin's Creed Revelations.  I particularly like watching Assassin's Creed, but since the current game just made my husband grumble, "what do these people want from me?" I am assuming this one might be further down on his mental gotta game list.

Finally, and really all of this to say, Batman: Arkham City is coming out in just a few short months.  We women typically turn to Cosmo or People to discover how to lure a man.  We have been sorely misguided.  What a man wants is Catwoman.  I intend to live vicariously through her.  I invite you to join me.  Hear me meow.