Just another day in paradise

Let me set the scene for you: It's a weekday, say Tuesday, at around 1:30 p.m.  I have successfully orchestrated the day so that the girls are both napping and I have a few minutes to myself to, I don't know, fold laundry and eat lunch.  I decide to watch some Gilmore Girls to unwind.  I approach the 360 and open the tray and then BAM!, like a whammy the Gears of War 3 skull of death icon on the game's disc slaps me in the face. 
So scary.

A similar moment plays out in the evening, say later that same day, at around 8:30 p.m.   My husband and I now, thanks to the little ones sharing a 7:30 bedtime, have the living room to ourselves to, I don't know, play video games and write blogs.  He decides to play some Gears to unwind.  He approaches the 360 and opens the tray and then La la la la la la, there is the beautiful Lauren Graham gazing longingly on the show's disc to bring a smile to his face. 
So sexy.

Life is not fair.

What is fair is that while my husband plays Gears, which is so beautiful it is ugly, he wears his groovy new headset.  While I am no prude, this game has no filter.  It is loud and crass and relentless just like me...wait.

Anyway, as I was saying, the dialogue leaves much to be desired which I suppose may be part of the game's charm.  I do, however, enjoy reading it quite a bit.  See, my husband wears the headset, but the game still shows subtitles.  It is my own personal MST 3000.  I also play, "things you never want to hear your husband say" while I watch.  Examples:

"That was nasty.  Let's move out."
"Yeah, imagine if you had to root around for parts all the time."
"Spread out and keep moving!"

Yikes.

In short, I would rather just listen to this video game on tape, but that is so 1989.

Betcha think this blog is about you

So, I haven't been voyeuring much lately. 

I've been stressed out.  Our two year old is potty training, our baby is, well, only four months old and our dog was attacked by another dog and had minor surgery.  Some days I am trying to nurse a crying infant at the same time my two year old needs help in the bathroom at the same time my dog is dripping dog bite ooze onto the floor.  <sigh>

I was also out of town for a bit.  My husband played hours of games while I was gone and triumphantly beat Assassins Creed: Brotherhood.  I was not there to witness it.  I do feel, however, I was responsible for his victory.  A few days before I left I figured out a puzzle he could not.  There was much rejoicing.  I may or may not have air humped the TV.

My husband is currently playing Bastion, a downloadable for the 360.  Initially, I thought it would be a good watch.  It is not.  The action is all boring and role-playing like.  Basically, all you do is walk around and collect "shards."  I live in Baltimore City.  I can collect shards on my front side walk.

I do like the way the backgrounds are drawn even though there is always random stuff floating around like snow or leaves or dust or something.  The sultry voiced narrator is a neat way to reveal the story, but he takes the fun out of it for me.  He does what I like to do: dole out witty play by play. 

When asked to review Bastion in five words, my husband said, "Storytelling makes good game better."  Apparently he prefers the narrator's commentary over mine.  <sigh again>

Have you ever done that thing where you drink some milk, hold it in your mouth, add chocolate syrup and the "swishle" it around?  I haven't either, but I just whooshed my beer around in my mouth as I contemplated what to write next and it reminded me of that.  I think I saw someone do it on an episode of Full House once.  On Gilmore Girls, Lorelai adds ranch dressing directly to a salad mix, jostles it and then eats it right out of the bag with a fork.  That one I have tried.  It's genius.

Come peep with me

I live a typical life for a woman of my generation.  I own a home, two cars and a dog.  I have 2 young children.  My husband is an avid video gamer.

I never owned a video game console.  But now, thanks to nuptial law, I own all of Nintendo's systems, a PS1, a PS2 and a 360.  I respect my spouse's interests.  Though I willingly pick up his Wii-mote, I am not a player.  I use the 360 to stream Netflix and watch DVDs.  I have a gamertag, but no gamerscore.   

I have observed a lot about video gaming over the years.  Last night I learned that "you're giant", "just tap that", "whatever you have I don't want it" and "I want to hit you with my huge baseball bat" are common things to exclaim while playing Super Smash Bros. with your buddy.  I also learned I might need to be jealous of Samus.

Video gaming is a big part of my husband's life and therefore a big part of mine.  He works hard and loves us very much.  He even kind of watched Gilmore Girls with me today.  In return I can accept that our peaceful evenings may play out to the sounds of zombies being shot at from close range.

So, in part, this blog is for him.  Happy Father's Day, baby.  I hope you like it too.