Thursday, July 21, 2011

Dude looks like a lady

A few posts back I stated that my husband often played video games as a girl.  No, he does not dress in drag and wield a controller.  Yes, he often chooses to play through a video game as a female character.  For awhile I was curious and a bit concerned.  What did it mean?  What did it say about him?  About us?

In short, more important questions have come to consume my mind (like, "how do I discipline my two year old?" and "should I paint my toenails purple or turquoise?") so it has been awhile since I bothered to reconsider this spousal quirk.  But, since it came up in an earlier entry, I thought it was high time I got the cold, hard facts on cross-gaming.  Here is the transcript of my interview with my husband (don't worry I plan to keep my day job):

In games where you have the choice, will you always choose to play as a female?
No, but I often will.  

Basically, it comes down to what you want to look at for hours on end.  The female characters are hot.  And I get to dress her however I want.

Oh.  Do you want to dress me however you want?
I like when you wear skirts.

I am wearing a skirt right now.  Do you like it?
If you were a video game character I would play as you.

Because you like looking at my butt in a skirt?
Something like that.

Ok, ok, back to being serious. Would you consider yourself a male lesbian?
This was your serious question? 

I am trying to get at the hidden truth behind cross-gaming.
I am a man.  I like to look at women.  That's it.  Simple.

Yes, yes, men are simple.  
Is the game play any different as a chick?
No, unless it has something to do with being that specific character.  In Borderlands, for example, I played through the game as all four characters, only one of whom was a girl.  They all had different abilities which changed the experience. In Mass Effect, I played as a female character, but I could choose to hit on women to further the story cause hitting on guys, even as a girl is...

Uh huh.  I see.  Cool.  I'm gonna go get a beer.  Do you want a beer?
That's it?

Yeah, that's it.  You're not video game gay.  I get it.  I'm satisfied.


  1. Great post, hilarious as usual.

    Cross-gaming is generally looked down upon by people but in my opinion it's not a big deal. Like Zach said, the female characters are made to be quite attractive. This is because 90% of video game developers are male and thus spend much more time and care making female game models then men. If you have to spend a lot of time looking at a character, why not make it one that you like looking at(mind you there are plenty of cool looking male characters out there too).

    And unless you are trying to live out some transgender fantasy, your cross game character is mostly a matter of preference. In single player games I will always pick a male because I am also a male. Playing through Mass Effect as female Sheppard would not appeal to me; if only because I really, really, really wanted to hook up with Tali(though if I was female I'd be knocking boots with Garrus)

    I WILL always play a female during Online RPGs.
    There is a story behind this:
    During my first MMORPG with my friends, I needed to create a new character since our party didn't have a healer and we were getting slaughtered. At that moment, I decided if we didn't add a female our party would be nothing but a boring sausage-fest. Thus Valysia Windrider was born; a human cleric with her bright red hair in a ponytail. Anytime I needed to play a healer in a game I would recreate Valysia. My friend Bill who played a dwarf named Copperchin would also go from game to game recreating his character.

    So for me, cross-gaming as Valysia is playing the role of a healer and not necessarily a smoking hot red head with a big butt and D cup breasts.

  2. Great article Keet! Something to throw in the many of us 20 to 30-something guys have played Super Mario Brothers 2 as Princess Toadstool?

    I know I did, Princess was kick-ass. That's why we ALL used her.

    K, that's all, keep up the awesome work!

  3. So hilarious!!!! This was my favorite part...

    "I am trying to get at the hidden truth behind cross-gaming.
    I am a man. I like to look at women. That's it. Simple.

    Yes, yes, men are simple."

    So true.

    You have helped me understand my husband's fascination with Lara Croft, thank you!