Delay of game

My husband and I have a deal.  He can buy as many video games as he wants as long as he can afford them.  "Afford them," you ask, "aren't you a kept woman?  Doesn't he bring home all the bacon?"

Yes, yes he does.  Like a 50's housewife I get a monthly allowance.  Like a man of the new millennium he does too.

My fun money falls by the wayside at Starbucks and Panera and Dunkin' Donuts and on the occasional girls night out.  Clearly, I am motivated by coffee and food.  His tab is run up at Game Stop and Game Stop and Game Stop and Banana Republic.  He is motivated by video games and sweaters.

So tonight, when I returned from an aforementioned girls night out, I did not find my husband playing Saints Row: The Third as I fully expected.  Instead, I found him Sky-riming it up yet again.  (I hear you can play that game for infinity or some such frame of time.)

He seemed to be enjoying himself.  I certainly enjoyed my evening.  Burgers and beer at a local joint where, if you want, you can ask them to put peanut butter on your buns.  (The buns of your burger, people, the buns of your burger.) Though, the latter suggestion almost seems to make more sense.  

Long story short, the hubs is tapped out.  He has no money left.  His sad copy of Saints Row is sitting lonely in a Game Stop somewhere and he is too broke to buy.  There have just been too many good games to get.  Video game launch season is taking it out of everyone in every way.  Spending is way up (not mine, just his) marriages are disintegrating (not mine again) and children are being ignored (again, not mine, of course), but we might just come out of this recession yet.

Lay eggs, much?

The voyeur is trying something new.  I am actually blogging while I watch.  Revolutionary, I know.

As I type, my husband is playing Modern Warfare 3 with both the TV audio and his headphones on.  I have been told that, yes, he is also listening to the game through the headphones and that, yes, he knows how silly this must seem. 

I like watching the game more than Battlefield 3, but probably only because I am familiar with the Call of Duty family of games.  Can I refer to a series of games as a family?  Or is that too domestic of me?  I will try to turn down the estrogen just a bit.  This is a very manly moment after all.

I will try to talk to my husband anyway:

So, honey, why are you listening to the game in this seemingly redundant way?
well, so...so, you...you can hear the game some.  I don't want you to be completely left out.  And, then uh, plus, uh I can turn it on as loud as...as I want.  <geeked out grin>

Is it difficult for you to talk to me and play at the same time?
<shakes head, lifts one headphone off ear a tiny bit>
I'll probably turn it down some.  (does not turn it down.  I step away.)

Hmm, I have just returned to the video game viewing room and it seems my husband is now playing Skyrim.  In the time that it took me to clear my dinner dishes (leftover barbeque chicken, raw broccoli with ranch dressing and cheetos...do I know how to rock the five food groups or what?) he has switched over to roll playing game mode.  The headphones are neatly holstered and his feet are up on the couch.  Roll playing games such as Skyrim do not require the intense video game playing position.  Did he dim the lights??

Furthermore, what is a Skyrim any way?  It sounds like a step below the mile high club. 

So, as I have intimated, there is a lot of video gaming going on 'round here.  'Tis the season.  Battlefield 3, Modern Warfare 3, Arkham City, and Skyrim have all graced our console this week with the new Saints Row on its way, stay tuned.  I can't say that I mind especially after that stupid game my stupid Ravens just played.

Don't get me wrong, I am no hater.  I am still a true fan.  But, if a cheeseburger makes me throw up I have the right to call it a stupid cheeseburger no matter how faithful I am to cheeseburgers.  Can I get an amen? 

Hear me meow

I had a lovely holiday weekend at home.  One of the nights, my husband grilled a succulent salmon for our dinner.  He chilled white wine and brought the laptop to the table to play some music.  Soon after we finished eating he pulled up an online list of the best upcoming 360 games.  How romantic.

I suppose it was thoughtful of him to give me the heads up on what I will be watching (and you will be reading).  He thought I might need blog fodder.  Blog fodder.  That sounds naughty...or Irish.  I'll blog your fodder.

Anyway, here is a recap of our "intimate" dinner conversation:

Gears of War 3 is coming out in September.  All I remember about the previous game is the chainsaw gun.  Time to "gear" up for some more quality hacking.

As I mentioned in a previous post, Battlefield 3 will be launching soon.  I'll reluctantly give it a chance.  Maybe the dudes in this game will have better butts than the competition.  

Saints Row: The Third is certain to hit my house in early January.  Helping my husband skank out his female figure (he often plays as a girl...more on this in a future post) equals Happy New Years to me.

Other games I am sure I will watch include: Mass Effect 3, BioShock Infinite and Assassin's Creed Revelations.  I particularly like watching Assassin's Creed, but since the current game just made my husband grumble, "what do these people want from me?" I am assuming this one might be further down on his mental gotta game list.

Finally, and really all of this to say, Batman: Arkham City is coming out in just a few short months.  We women typically turn to Cosmo or People to discover how to lure a man.  We have been sorely misguided.  What a man wants is Catwoman.  I intend to live vicariously through her.  I invite you to join me.  Hear me meow.