The Video Game Voyeur

QUIZ: What Your Man's Video Gaming Says About His Potential

2012-02-07T09:23:00.000-08:00

A la Cosmopolitan, answer these questions to discover what really matters about your man: his video gaming personality.

1. When did your man start playing video games regularly?

A. At a young age, possibly under the influence of a Japanese friend, or other socially awkward companion
B. In high school or college because every one else was staying up til 2am doing it
C. In the womb

2. When your man is playing what do you have to do to get his attention?

A. Stand directly in his field of view
B. Wait until he dies and then say his name sharply and loudly
C. Nothing, it is impossible to get his attention

3. What is your man playing right now?

A. Skyrim in an attempt to beat it before Mass Effect 3 comes out
B. Modern Warfare 3 in an attempt to put that 12-year-old online snot in his place
C. What is he not playing?

4. When your man is playing games what does he prefer you do?

A. Sit close by, provide positive feedback and help him solve the puzzles
B. Simply share a snack or do something you enjoy on your own
C. Leave the house

5. How many pieces of video game inspired clothing does your man own?

A. A few
B. None
C. That is all he owns

Mostly A's: Video Game Geek - your man may be obsessed, but he is super cute.
the good: his hobby is harmless. he has plenty of room for you.
the bad: you may hear more about the adventures from his latest video game title than his actual life.
the bedroom: blow his mind with 8-bit inspired lingerie.

Mostly B's: Video Game Gangsta - your man may be charged with testosterone, but he has found an acceptable outlet.
the good: his drive will equal success in all areas of life. stick with him and reap the rewards.
the bad: he may be using video games to compensate for a self-assumed shortcoming.
the bedroom: stroke his ego. or controller. or both.

Mostly C's: Video Game Goner - your man may be lost, but you can still show him the way.
the good: he needs you.
the bad: he might not notice you.
the bedroom: dress up as Laura Croft, Catwoman, Princess Peach or similar.

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Gamer dads - (Matthew W.)

2012-01-30T18:33:00.000-08:00

If this blog has any sort of mission or deeper meaning (or point at all, really) I would say it is to encourage wives to support their gamer husbands. It is easy to sit around drinking chick cocktails cackling in a chorus about how he can't do this or that. How cliche! It is challenging to embrace our husbands for all that they are especially since it is usually nothing like us. But, I believe we must.

If the broader focus of my blog is about supporting the gamer in your life, well then my subtitle is "people, this means even after you have kids." It requires refined acrobatic skills to juggle a decent commitment to a hobby while being a parent (and a spouse.) I only recently discovered that I actually have time for a hobby.

My husband, on the other hand, has fluidly maintained several hobbies, and not at all to the detriment of his job or our family (I would rather he take any anger/anxiety/angst he might have out on zombies and the like anyway.) I respect him deeply for this.

If you consider my husband a gamer dad, you must also label him a drummer, an audiophile, a burgeoning woodworker, and a condiment-happy cook. He is well rounded and this is one reason why I love him. On a certain level, I share his interest in music,"crafts" and the kitchen. It's a level on which we can relate. When it comes to video games, however, I have had to step a bit (and sometimes way) outside of myself and my own interests and abilities to appreciate his.

But simply stated, watching him play has led me to this blog and, subsequently, this writing challenge. Both of which have brought me closer to him and (maybe more importantly this time) me closer to me.

Stupid Hot Girls on G4 - (Mark L.)

2012-01-29T18:19:00.000-08:00

The Voyeur is sick tonight. She has a bug of some sort that has relegated her to bed, with nothing to do but softly moan. That is usually something I am involved with, but alas, 'tis not so this time.

This is her husband typing. I am not sure how to refer to myself. If she is the Video Game Voyeur, what am I? The Voyee? I guess the "Resident Gamer" will do.

She made it to 28 in her 30-day challenge. I am confident she'll be back tomorrow to finish things off proper. Now, on to the topic...

What is the purpose of "stupid hot girls" on G4? It seems fairly obvious on the surface. Get guys to watch. Get geeky guys to think hot girls are into the same stuff they are. Build self-esteem and viewership. The question is: Why is it working?

Mostly these women just come off as irritating. They do not appear credible. They make me want to change the channel. Whoever is in control of this corporate image (because that's really what it is) even makes me want to leave their website. Right now I'm at G4TV.com. Over on the right side of the page they have some host of some show and a quote. The current quote is supposedly from Candace Bailey.

"We've tried shotguns, Molotovs, and grenades and the zombies keep coming. Can't we just hug it out?"

That's frustrating in a way that I'm not sure how to describe. Yet, people watch Attack of the Show. The way shows and their hosts are marketed must be having some positive effect, or they wouldn't be doing it. This leads me to be more upset with gamers in general, who flock to this junk.

Maybe I'm just getting old. Maybe I'm just not the G4 core audience anymore. After all, I'm 30, and have a job. I have a wife and kids and very little time to be wasted. Any spare time I do get, I want to spend doing something I enjoy like playing games or music.

Let's turn the attention somewhere else for a moment. My wife. The Voyeur herself. She is almost the complete opposite of stupid hot girls on G4. She is smart. She is genuine. She doesn't pretend to know about what she's reading off the teleprompter. However, she is also quite the little hottie. If someone handed me a block of clay and told me to sculpt the perfect butt, I would make her butt.

In other words: I have what I need, thank you.

The video game impaired - (Caela C.)

2012-01-28T18:32:00.000-08:00

To determine your video game age, answer these five questions. Try to be as honest with yourself as possible:

1. Back in the day, did you press "A" and jump the video game controller at the same time?

2. Do you still forget to use the whammy bar in Guitar Hero?

3. Are you unable to pat your head and rub your tummy simultaneously?

4. Is button mashing your go to K.O. move?

5. Do you find yourself wanting to move forward, but looking upward instead?

Now, record the number of times you answered "yes" to the above questions. Please note: if you answered "maybe" or "uh, I don't know," that counts as a yes. Multiply that number by 113 (you do something like this in golf so it must be accurate), add your age and then subtract 12 (my favorite number.)

Did any of you actually do it?

Mine is 132. My video game age is 132. That sounds about right.

Food pairings with video games - (Matthew W.)

2012-01-27T20:02:00.000-08:00

For inspiration (and because the hubs is out tonight at a meeting) I watched the Thanksgiving episode from the third season of Gilmore Girls. Somehow, they overbook themselves and agree to attend four different dinners during the day.

Lorelai: Rory what are we if not the world's champion eaters?
Rory: It's too much food.
Lorelai: It's not too much food. This is what we've been training for our whole lives. This is our destiny, this is our finest hour.
Rory: Or final hour.

Now, I enjoy eating, but not that much. I am more of a grazer. And, I shamelessly take advantage of the time my husband plays video games to eat what I avoid during the day for fear of having to share it with my toddler.

Beer - This is the official beverage of The Video Game Voyeur. In the summertime I enjoy Corona. In the winter my guilty pleasure is Woodchuck Cider (fake beer.) Year round I choose Stella or Natty Boh (in a can in my purple Boh face cozy, thank you very much.)

Poor Man's Taco Dip - I did not invent this by any stretch, but I own it nonetheless. Simply, this is sour cream, salsa, and shredded cheddar. I don't know about you, but I don't have time for the four or so other layers. Lime tortilla chips elevate this dish to satisfy any palette.

Popcorn - First of all, I love popcorn. It may be the perfect snack. It is light, crispy, amazing for catching on your tongue and provides endless seasoning possibilities. I am a fan of lightly salted or white cheddar. Kettle corn is out. Caramel corn is in. Second, there is no shortage of popcorn in this house. Unbeknownst to me (until recently), the Boy Scouts pimp popcorn like the Girl Scouts turn thin mints. And, being an Eagle Scout himself, my husband has a soft spot for boys in uniform. Ah, sadly, there was no better way to say that. Long story short, we bought a lot of BSA popcorn this fall.

Oreos - Speaking of cookies, Oreos are by far my favorite. I have never tried to make these at home because, well, they are perfect just the way they are. While I am typically a savory snacker, I will always love me some cookies and milk. The regular fat Oreos taste WAY better than the reduced fat, but you tend to forget that back at home. Plus, if I get reduced fat I have permission to eat four instead of three and dunk them in the kid's whole milk instead of my usual skim. I don't want to risk getting hungry in the middle of the night, do I? No way, hons!

Back when I was in college - (Leisel A.)

2012-01-26T18:19:00.000-08:00

Back when I was in college a gallon of unleaded gasoline cost roughly $1.50 and I only needed $5.50 to drive on the Pennsylvania Turnpike to get to school (Breezewood to Cranberry.) I think both cost at least double now, only ten short years later.

Don't worry I have absolutely no intention of waxing political or even economical on you. I merely wanted to sound like an old lady.

Not that we have that out of the way, I feel the need to somehow sum up my entire collegiate experience in this one blog post. Frankly, that is impossible. Those four years were life changing for me as they are for most people. I left home for the first time, almost moved back home after the first year, decided to stay after all, bonded with amazing people, changed my major, was "forced" to shop at Wal-Mart, and met my future husband.

Though, come to think of it, there is one phrase I can employ to sum up college for you: Upper Class White Trash (UCWT.) Before I elaborate, I must confess I am borrowing this idea from my good friend who coined it (she gave me permission to describe it here.) I wish I had come up with it on my own. It is classic. It is exactly how college students live. It describes what the inside of a tiny dorm room looks like (one that essentially costs 50 grand a year to live in.) Maybe it would be more accurate to say middle class, but that's shrinking any way right? (No politics, please.)

My favorite example is this: you know you are UCWT when you wear your 60 dollar bathing suit bottoms as under wear because you are too cheap to do laundry. And one for the dudes (this one was not just inspired by my husband but precisely extracted from his college existence): you know you are UCWT when you adhere a Pop Tart box to your bed post with orange duct tape to store all your various electronics remotes and controllers.

Which gracefully (maybe) leads me to talk about my early days of video game voyeuring. Since I did not grow up with video games (save my cousin's original NES and my neighbor's Sega), college was my first experience with their prevalence. Yes, it was in those formative years that I developed a taste for not playing, but watching video games. I guess you could call it the geek version of cheering on the jocks from the stands. Though in my defense (and the gamer guys, too) I also quite enjoyed watching them all play frisbee as well. With their shirts on, of course.

I just realized while proofreading, that it physically hurts me to read a sentence without a period I can barely manage to keep on reading when they aren't there Even when the double space is present and the other punctuation is intact, I highly desire the dot Ugh, rereading this paragraph is barely short of torture

Our girls in 10 years (M. Kendall L.)

2012-01-25T19:02:00.000-08:00

In ten years, our two little girls will be nearly 11 and 13. They will be in the fifth and seventh grades respectively. At the start of the following school year, they will be in middle school together. Hopefully, they will be friends more often than not. Maybe they will even share clothes and accessories. Hmm, they might even be into makeup. Oh jeez, they will be wearing bras at this age! I sure hope we have more than one full bathroom by then.

In ten years, I pray that our older daughter still loves school as much as she does now (even though she has yet to start.) I pray that she still loves her "orange" hair (though I hope she has outgrown correcting people when they call it red.) I pray that she loves her sister, does not feel burdened by her, but still protects and teaches her freely.

I pray that our little one remains as laid back in her youth as she has been as a baby (that attitude will serve her, and her family, well as a preteen girl.) I pray that she grows some hair by then (what blonde fuzz she currently has will not serve her well at this age.) I pray that she loves her sister, does not feel forever in her shadow, but still emulates her willingly.

For my husband, I pray that our girls are pretty, but not too pretty.

Will they play sports? Will they play music? Will they like to read? Will they like to write? I don't want to project, but I hope they enjoy many things, all of these things and more. Now...will they play video games? I hope so, too.

I hope we will all play together. I know my husband will certainly have a console or two or ten still lying around by then. Maybe we will have a night set aside for video games. Maybe we will all solve the puzzles together. Maybe we will pop corn and make root beer floats and lie on floor pillows in front of the fire...

For me, I pray that our girls still want to hang out with us then like they do now.

Matthew's Birthday - (Zach L.)

2012-01-24T19:16:00.000-08:00

My husband and I have known Matthew and his wife for five or six years now. I don't remember when we first became friends, exactly. I do remember when we first met them, though. It was at a surprise birthday party for a mutual friend. I don't remember if I brought a gift, per se. I do remember they brought a "katamari."

No, they did not bring a video game. And, no, I do not recall if it was Katamari Damacy or I (Heart) Katamari that inspired their creative present. What they brought was a hand made "ball" of junk all affixed to itself like one you might assemble when playing one of the above titles. It was cute. I am pretty sure a Panera cup was involved. Remember when they used to have Styrofoam ones? It was one of those.

A "katamari" is a magical ball that allows anything smaller than it to stick to it and make it grow. The more you stick to the ball, the larger it gets allowing you to pick up even larger objects with it. In one of the games you start out by rolling over thumbtacks and dice and such and pretty soon you can pick up tables and people and buildings. Matthew is an avid gamer and likes lots of different games. However, I will always associate him with Katamari.

So, in honor of your birthday, dear friend, please picture yourself in a Katamari game that has been especially designed for you. A sort of "This is Your Life" Katamari Damacy (which oddly roughly translates to "clump soul." Who knew?) And to help you envision this crazy scenario, here is a list of items (in increasing size order, of course) that you can pick up as you roll around your world:

- guitar pick
- Mario Kart 7
- broccoli
- capo
- sonic screwdriver
- iPhone
- 3DS
- volcano roll
- mint ice cream cookie sandwich
- Iron & Wine CD
- Belle & Sebastian CD
- Jared Anderson CD
- The Book of Jonah
- Bilingual Easy Readers
- Where the Wild Things Are
- Mo Willems books
- The movie Coraline
- Woodchuck cider
- champagne flutes
- pitcher of Winner tea
- fez
- Wii
- striped sweaters
- wedding cake
- guitar
- Berner
- Michael Cera
- Leslie 122
- TARDIS (viewed from the outside)
- Toyota Echo
- cherry blossom trees
- Record & Tape Traders
- IHOP
- Stone Chapel
- Longfellow Elementary School
- AMC Owings Mills
- San Antonio River Walk

Clearly, I had help with this list. I look forward to sharing the details of who was involved with you soon. In the meantime, enjoy the thought of a game like this. Oh, and I almost forgot, in your game, whenever the katamari increases in size, you shall hear it exclaimed, "Oh my word."

Mini/micro vans (Mark A.)

2012-01-23T19:19:00.000-08:00

I'm not feeling it tonight. It's not that I don't have anything to say. It's not that I don't love my microvan (if that's a term) or this blog, for that matter. I'm just not sure I have anything to say on this subject that anyone would want to read. I have felt this way other nights this month, but some how got away without saying (or writing) it. I guess once out of 23 posts ain't bad.

Anyway, we have a Mazda5. It is the car I drive. We got it because it did for us what a minivan would do for us without being a minivan. Cause, well, I really didn't want to have my second child, turn 30 and buy a minivan all in one year. Plus, I can still pretend it's sporty. zoom zoom.

Here's a review. If you want one, buy one.

And, here's a peak at the inside of my van, er, I mean my sleek and sassy microvanesque car:

- a squashed box of tissues
- a nearly finished caffeinated beverage from last week
- multiple hand sanitizers tucked into strategic locations (mostly because I forgot where I hid the previous ones)
- a bag of clothes or other baby item that belongs to someone else and I have yet to return
- not my dashboard Jesus (He's in the kitchen...did I need to capitalize that?)
- an umbrella
- an umbrella stroller
- a double stroller
- CD's I never get to listen to because our toddler has gotten jiggy with age appropriate music
- at least 12 lost Cheerios and 9 lost Goldfish
- a pair of my husband's shoes (ask him)

Can I get an amen?!?

Stories/Plots and watching video games - (Matt A.)

2012-01-22T17:56:00.000-08:00

I do not have an award winning attention span. I prefer episodes of television to movies. I love to read novels, but often take in no more than 10 pages at a time. Magazines are more my speed. In college, I required many study breaks to successfully prepare for any exam.

This lack of concentration may be one reason playing video games is not my thing. I simply do not have the breadth of focus required to a) learn how to play any game b) play a game with the commitment required to get truly engrossed.

My style of video game voyeuring reflects this as well. I often move in and out of the room or look up and down from some other activity as I watch. And, when I do find myself glued to the television it is not because of any storyline that I can recall. In looking back at my top 9 games to watch, I discovered that plot, for me, has nothing to do with it.

On the flip side, I know storyline can play a big part in my husband's gaming experience. Of course, this depends on the type of game. Right now, for example, he is playing Bayonetta, which he picked up for funsies as part of a buy 2 get 1 free pre-owned game sale. He says the storyline is ridiculous, but fun and that the game doesn't take anything too seriously. A lot of games these days take their story lines super seriously. Let's be honest, how many times can you save the world, really? It has to be exhausting.

How about all of you out there, gamers and voyeurs alike: How much does the plot of a game matter to you? Which games have you gotten lost in thanks to their story?

Joystick - (Darcy B.)

2012-01-21T15:41:00.000-08:00

This post is gonna be hard. (that's what she said.)

Facts about joysticks:

A joystick is an input device.

Joysticks come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

Some joysticks function better than others.

Good joysticks have "throttle control". (This one is called the Thrustmaster.)

Some joysticks suffer from "dome contact fatigue failure (flatting out)"

Joysticks are often found in cockpits.

Joysticks can be used in video gaming.

Console gamers prefer the use of two sticks while PC gamers prefer using one larger one.
However, PC gamers rarely use their joystick. To them, it has become somewhat obsolete.

I hope you have enjoyed this gallery of gadgets. I must admit that, at first, I was disappointed with myself. One of my self-inflicted rules for this challenge was to hit at least 200 words per entry. Then I remembered: a picture is worth 1,000 words. I guess I have outdone myself yet again...

Potty Training - (Mark A.)

2012-01-20T17:29:00.000-08:00

When I was pregnant with our first child someone "advised" me that early parenthood was "all about poop." Surely, they must be exaggerating, I thought. Clearly, they were just trying to be funny. I was well aware I would have to deal with diapers and what they contained. I was not aware of what all of this would look like.

Pretty much from the moment they hand you the baby bundle in the delivery room you become poop obsessed. In fact, the hospital has you keep track of each occurrence; color, consistency, frequency, form. It is truly amazing. I still cannot believe how easily poop dictates my day, it can even determine the mood of the entire house. I also cannot believe the ease with which I say the word.

Poop. Go ahead, say it out loud, I dare you. Poop. Now whisper it. Poop. Wanna yell it now? POOP!!!

I have no doubt embarrassed my younger sister, her boyfriend, myself and probably many others on countless occasions (this blog entry possibly being a prime example). I know I talk about poop too much. It is basically the reason I have stopped going to civilized gatherings.

Now that our eldest is potty trained we have experienced an excrement evolution. I will not get into that right now. As research for this entry, though, I did ask our nearly three-year-old daughter a few questions. Her answers were, well, very three. Here is a brief excerpt from our conversation:

Me: Do you wear diapers anymore?
Z: No. I wear underwear! With padapullers. (caterpillars)
Me: Who in our house still wears diapers?
Z: G!
Me: Are you going to help teach G (now ten months old) how to go on the potty when she is old enough?
Z: I will
Me: When do you think she will be old enough?
Z: In six days.

Potty training, my friends, is not just about ditching the diapers.

Soon after this fine moment, my husband came home in the loaner car we just picked up from the dealership. As agreed, he took Z back outside with him to see it. She was quite intrigued with the idea of a borrowed car. The hubs let her climb in, sit behind the wheel and pretend to drive. And then, our sweet little babe, who hadn't had an accident in weeks, proceeded to pee all over the cloth seat and herself. Brilliant.

Mobile gaming - (Zach L.)

2012-01-19T19:10:00.000-08:00

Gather round, folks. It's storytime!

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away (Owings Mills, MD) a young video game voyeur snuggled beside her avid gamer husband. No baby monitors crackled or buzzed in the background. The air was light, smelling nothing of diapers or formula. The upcoming weekend held the promise of true rest and relaxation. It was a quieter time, this time before children. The nights were somehow boring. But, not this night.

This night began like many others. Gamer husband lay fondling his mobile gaming device while gamer wife watched drowsily from her pillow. Occasionally she would lift her head to take in a glimpse or two. The game being played on this historic eve? The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass.

Unbeknownst to gamer wife, this title required more than just button tapping. Unbeknownst to gamer husband, gamer wife had fallen asleep. And then a seemingly innocent enemy rabbit with well endowed ears appeared on the screen. Tactic required to defeat said rabbit? Yelling into the Nintendo DS to scare the bully bunny.

This, simply, is how the rest of the scene unfolded:

GH: Hey honey, check this out...to beat this guy I have to...
GW:...
GH: (at top of lungs) AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
GW: (basically jumps out of bed. heart basically jumps out of chest) What happened?!??! Are you ok??!?!?
GH: I thought you were awake
GW: Um, nope
GH: I'm sorry
GW: Uh huh (mental head slap. actual blow to her husband's arm)

Please note: No children were harmed (or conceived) as a result of this interaction.

"There's an app for that." - (Mark A.)

2012-01-18T19:03:00.000-08:00

Gotta tweet, search a recipe or restaurant on the go?
"There's an app for that."

Need to catch a lobster, raccoon or a mouse, oh no!?
"There's a trap for that."

Feel the urge to be an onstage ham?
"There's a tap for that"

Have a dreaded yearly exam?
"There's a pap for that"

Wanna emote ghetto-fabulous style?
"There's a rap for that."

Desire to look like an early Gentile?
"There's a flap for that."

Wow. Well, that little game degraded fairly quickly, didn't it? Fabulous. If you have any more, I would love to hear them. I had one for lap, but it really was not appropriate. Moving on...

Right now, Instagram is my favorite app. The 8 megapixel camera on the iPhone 4S is amazing. I love having that at my fingertips to document daily delights. Far from being obsessed with it, Instagram is simply a fun way for me to enhance what I capture and share it with all of you. So, while understandably my favorite subjects are my two beautiful girls, I have something special brewing for my voyeur viewers.

Starting in February, I plan to present my "VGV Insta-G of the day". Each day, I will share a photo through the eyes of the voyeur, all video game related and guaranteed to please. Be sure to check my Facebook page for the photos. (don't forget to give my page some "like" love so you don't miss any Insta-G's or other gems.)

And now, back to the game...here are some words for you to ponder...crap, lap, nap, slap, zap...

Cosplay - (Matthew W.)

2012-01-17T20:07:00.000-08:00

Up until a few weeks ago, I had no idea what cosplay was. I saw the topic in my list for this challenge and assumed it must be describing a type of bedroom shenanigan involving boldly patterned crew neck sweaters. I have since educated myself a bit on the subject (thank you, as always, dear Internet.)

Come to find out, I already knew what cosplay was, I just didn't know what cosplay meant. For years, I worked in downtown Baltimore, home to one of many conventions known as "Comic Con." Every summer I watched cosplay play out in a magnificent fashion. I rode into town on the Metro next to Superman. I ate lunch as the nearby food court with Harley Quinn. I may or may not have seen Bobo Fett in Banana Republic at the Gallery mall. There was lots of makeup and weird weapons and skin, skin, skin. These people are devout.

In case you have yet to catch up, cosplay is short for "costume play" and represents a type of performance art wherein participants dress up as characters from anime, graphic novels, comic books, video games, and the like. I suppose it is a type of role play, though I do not know if any acting, per se, is involved. However, based on some of these amazing photos I assume these artists full monty it in every direction.

Though I can respect the amount of thought, time, and energy "cosplaying" requires, I am ridiculously relieved that my husband is not into this. Though, if I had to guess, I suppose he might choose to dress up as Spike from Cowboy Bebop (an anime series he adores and, yes, I have watched. Hmm, great blog topic idea. Why didn't one of you think of it?!?) If you know the character (and my husband), you realize this would not be a huge departure for him (Spike basically wears a suit and tie.) Regardless, I vote cosplay as a deal breaker.

I mean, let's get real. I would never partake in cosplay. I don't even dress up for Halloween. I used to, of course. It was fun. And, I guess I did dress up as She-Ra (Princess of Power) when I was six. I don't think that counts, but if I revisited that costume again this year...thoughts?

Happy Zombie Tuesday!

2012-01-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

Zombies are to video games as vampires are to movies. So, naturally, when I learned about Zombie Tuesday I could not resist the opportunity to write. Graciously, @MotherhoodTruth allowed me space on her blog. Read my post (and all of her fabulous thoughts on everything from Mommies to Zombies) at Motherhood:Truth.

How I put too much pressure on myself - (Laura C.)

2012-01-16T18:43:00.000-08:00

Laura is not one to offer unsolicited advice. She is thoughtful and reserved. However, she has, on more that one occasion, randomly reminded me that if I need to skip a day of blogging it would be fine. Apparently, since the inception of this idea, she has been wary. Perhaps she thinks that if I failed to follow my self-inflicted rules I would wither and wallow. That little stinker, she really knows me.

She knows I put a lot of pressure on myself. She knows that I can be too hard on myself. She was right to remind me. But, Laura, I hope you think this has been a positive endeavor. I do. And I'll prove it.

How? A Pro/Con list, of course.

Cons:

1. Daily blogging causes you to neglect your pedicure. Toenail polish is one of my few guilty pleasures. Year round, I love to keep my piggies pampered with paint. I only indulge in a spa treatment a couple of times a year and keep them up on my own in between. But, alas, my "Red Zin-ful" toes are leftover from the holidays. The paint is chipped, dingy and sad. I even bought a new color a few weeks ago that I have yet to use. My feet might have to wait until February to drink in the beauty that is "Haute Chocolate."

2. I am a wittle bit sweepier than usual. Granted, I have two young children, but they have been sleeping fine. I, on the other hand, have been staying up later and dreaming in blog. Some times I feel like I spent the entire night rolling ideas around instead of resting.

3. Insecurity has set in, a bit. I fear you all may be getting tired of me. Is all this quantity harming my quality? Are you considering breaking up with my blog?

Pros:

1. I am building amazing content on my site in just a few short weeks. This has given me the confidence to promote my blog. I feel like now, if I send some one here, they will have plenty to read and will really be able to get a feel for what I am all about.

2. I have learned that I really could write every day if I wanted to. I have the time. I have the unique niche and voice. I probably won't blog every day after the challenge is over, but I probably will blog much more often than before.

3. Every night, after the girls are in bed, my husband makes a fire and I sit and write. It has been a great way for us to unwind together.

4. Thinking about my blog, literally all day long, has sparked fresh ideas. I feel like I will have plenty to write about for a long time. I created a Facebook page for the blog (Please take a second to "Like" it) and I have even devised another challenge I will tell you about soon.

5. I have begun networking as a blogger. In fact, tomorrow is my first guest post on another site. I recently connected with a mommy blogger on Twitter who celebrates "Zombie Tuesdays." Tomorrow, I am her guest writer (about video games, of course.) Look for a link to her blog from mine.

6. It has been fun conquering all of your clever blog topics and thinking about you as I write them. Please send me more any time.

So, to recap, I have gained a lot from this 30 Day Writing Challenge and I am only half of the way through it. It seems that the only negative things coming out of this are shabby toes, insufficient sleep and lame insecurities. What else is new? Time for another beer. Here's to 16 down and 14 to go! (posts. not beers.)

Voice acting (or attempting) - (Matthew W.)

2012-01-15T19:56:00.000-08:00

Video Game Voyeur Trivia: What does video game voice acting and the Golden Globes have in common?

One might be inclined to guess "absolutely nothing." While the Golden Globes is known for parading talented movie and television stars, video games are not. Video game voice acting is generally only mildly inspired and entertaining. Video game voice actors (while becoming more well known) are often B-list at best. For as much as I watch, I can not recall a video game voice performance that moved me. In fact, I rarely even notice much of the dialogue. That is, unless it completely stinks.

So, do you know the answer?

I'll give you a hint: It's an actor
I'll give you another hint: He won an award at the Globes tonight
Ok, one more: His name rhymes with Fristopher Slummer

Did ya guess it yet?

All joking aside, I just want to say well done Skyrim for hiring an award winning actor to elevate an already fabulous game. And kudos, Christopher, for giving some credibility to video game voice acting.

Bonus questions from the voyee (is that a word?)

Which games do you play where the voice acting totally takes you out of the moment?

Which games have voice acting that is so good you actually notice?

I'll give my answers in the comments tomorrow.

My dream video game - (M. Kendall L.)

2012-01-14T18:42:00.000-08:00

I am torn. There are too many ambitions to fulfill, too many angles to consider, too many fantasies to satisfy. When it comes to developing my dream video game, I don't think I could create just one. So, I won't. Sing with me! It's my blog and I'll do what I want to, dooo what I want to, dooooo what I want to. You would do this too, if you happened to have a cool blog like miiiiine (or something like that).

My dream video game to watch

I would love to watch a game that took place somewhere breathtakingly beautiful, like a beach in Bali. I would want to hear the sounds of the ocean, the waves, the birds, the wind in the trees. In my opinion, tropical locales are under represented in video games.

Like my sister gamer wives, I prefer games with puzzles that I can help my husband solve. Wouldn't it be nice to stroll along the shore unlocking riddles and uncovering clues? Perhaps there is a loose story line wherein you are stranded on the island and need to solve the puzzles to earn food and clothes and other supplies, like frozen strawberry margaritas.

My dream video game to play

I know, I know, I don't like to play. I like to watch. But, I feel like I am missing out. My husband plays video games for many reasons. One of which, I am sure, is to escape. He has this vehicle that actively allows him to get lost in a different place, a different story. I have never been good at doing that. I read, yes, but mostly magazines and realistic fiction. I write, yes, but mostly about his hobby.

Basically, I dream of a game that would open up my imagination. One that would totally engross me. My mind is so closed that I can't even fathom what I would want to do or accomplish or conquer in a game like this. I do know that it would have to require a ridiculously simple controller, be side scrolling and by no means require me to change any camera angle, ever.

My dream video game for the hubs to play

I dream of a game that has little dialogue of its own so my husband can actually talk to me while he plays. I dream of a game that has many, frequent save points so I don't feel bad when I accidentally linger in front of the screen as the enemy approaches. I dream of a game that, somehow, still allows my husband to play even though he is both helping me fold laundry and giving me a foot massage. And, maybe, just maybe, when he beats it, people everywhere will finally be judged, not on the color of their skin, but on the content of their character. Oh, and it also transports us to a beach in Bali.

Interview voyeurs and compare experiences - (Laura C.)

2012-01-13T20:10:00.000-08:00

First, I want to thank everyone who responded to my email survey. I really enjoyed reading what you had to say about how video games play into your lives. Plus, you guys crack me up. I am looking forward to directly quoting a few of you in a few.

Second, while most of you are fairly affirming of your man (let's be honest we are all women married to men who play video games), some of you are not. And, I some times got the feeling that I was the first person to hear some of your thoughts. No one ever wrote anything close to, "This is what we have agreed on" or "after discussing this we decided..." Please, please, please talk to your husband about his gaming. He needs to know if you have an issue.

Third, I want to take a minute to address the avid gamers in our midst. I have your back. You know I do. Video gaming is a legitimate hobby. But, golf is also a legitimate hobby. I know douches who play both. Do you catch my drift?

Now onto the interviews:

Compliments
When asked what you ladies liked about video games, the majority of you mentioned helping to solve the puzzles. So cute. I am sure there is an anthropological explanation for this. If any of you understand it, please fill me in. I also got the impression that, while you are glad games bring him joy, you are also pleased it is a hobby that keeps him home, in front of the baby monitor, where he belongs. Video gaming seems, to some, a lesser evil.

Communication
With the exception of a few newlyweds in the group, this is something all voyeurs have had to be creative with at some point. Suggestions I received ranged in intensity. Examples included: tapping his arm, sitting next to him and waiting, standing in front of the screen, looking for him to die, (and my personal favorite) stripping. When we were first married, my husband had a man cave down in the basement complete with a projector and surround sound. Once, when it was time for dinner (and no amount of shouting worked), I sent the dog down with a sign on his back. I don't remember if it worked.

Complaints
"Can't (he) just play games rated E for Everyone when (the kid is) around? Is that really so hard?"

"Once he starts a game he cares about, it's pretty much 8pm - 2am until he's beaten it every way it can be beaten (dirty!)"

"I don't like when he gets angry with the game....cursing as if he really did get shot."

"Do you have any idea what I could do with $60?!?!? A bangin’ haircut or a dinner out! Or a new outfit. Such a waste."

From my point of view, I was pleased to find out that, in general, you considered yourselves to be video game voyeurs and tried to spend some time with your husband while he games. You are all generally supportive (or working on it.) Now I am curious, do your husband's agree?

Kazumi - (Kazumi T.)

2012-01-12T19:22:00.000-08:00

You may be wondering, "What is a Kazumi?" However, what you should be asking is, "WHO is Kazumi?"

Kazumi Frederick Takemasa is my husband's long time friend. They met in middle school in Western New York. If I have this right, and I think I do, Kazumi was born in Austria to Japanese parents. He became an official United States citizen when he married a native Hawaiian who he met in New Jersey. He and his wife bought us a rice cooker for our wedding. We love that thing.

Oddly enough, I had already planned to devote a blog entry to Kazumi. So, while his topic suggestion is not exactly humble, it is entirely acceptable. Kazumi may be the reason we are all here. No, he is not some prophetic Japanese mystic (though his name does mean "beautiful harmony" and I wouldn't be surprised to find out he knew something the rest of us didn't.) Simply put, my husband would not be the gamer he is today (nor I the voyeur) without Kazu.

First, my husband credits Kazumi with introducing him to role playing games. He says he still remembers renting Final Fantasy II at Kazu's suggestion and becoming immediately consumed with its world and characters. It was also thanks to Kazu who has family back East, (or would you say West?), the hubs had access to video games only released in Japan. And finally, no one is a better gaming buddy than Kazu. I am fairly confident he and my husband have logged thousands of hours on hundreds of games playing together over the years.

Everyone should have a friend like Kazu, but not because his mom makes mad awesome Japanese noodles or because he lives in Hawaii or anything having to do with gaming. But, because he is weird and relaxed about it, while the rest of us are weird and busy covering it up.

And, so, because I couldn't resist, here is my Ode to Kazu (and because they met in middle school I chose acrostic):

Kazumi

Kazumi, not everyone's cup of Japanese tea
A bit socially awkward if you ask me.
Zealous for gaming, both console and PC
Unbending in his taste for his mama's sushi
Manly in Speedos, this Asian can fly
In every measurable way, he scores super high

Laundry Achievement Points - (Darcy B.)

2012-01-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

Laundry is my least favorite. Here are some reasons why:

1. I am bad at it. Though, I suppose it is unclear whether I despise it because I am bad at it or I am bad at it because I despise it. Either way, I am a lousy laundress. I usually wait to do wash until the piles seem insurmountable. And then, instead or sorting by color, I sort by person. I will dig through an enormous heap of dirty laundry and pick out every last thing that is mine, shove it all into one load and finish it first. Because, heck, if I have to wash all of these clothes I am surely gonna have something cute (and clean) to wear while I do it.

2. It's way down in the basement. This has nothing to do with agility or strength and everything to do with out of sight, out of mind. I cannot hear my washer on the first floor and my dryer does not buzz. Therefore, I have left many a load wet and limp or dry and wrinkling until the next morning. Not only does this make me feel even more inept than I already do, it draws out this heinous process until, well, I don't even bother making the trip down the stairs.

3. Socks. They are somehow ubiquitous and elusive at the same time. Just today, I found five baby socks in the living room alone. It does not help that my 10-month-old removes her socks often and with the stealth of a ninja. They are her favorite toys, after all. She loves to wave them (and subsequently fling them) around like she is about to set sail. To make matters worse I had the brilliant idea to buy the girls large packs of matching socks for Christmas. I must have been in a stuff-the-stockings shopping stupor because now, while I am tirelessly attempting to match socks I must make sure the tiny sizes match too. My grandfather used to safety pin his pairs together. I will never do this, of course, but I no longer think it is ridiculous.

4. It never ends. Most domestic chores are like this, I know. But, laundry is different. It permeates the entire house. Even if all the clothes were miraculously clean, what about the sheets? towels? snuggle-in-front-of-the-television quilts? curtains? dish towels? throw rugs? winter coats? `Oh boy, I need to stop. I am shvitzing.

I don't know what Laundry Achievement Points are, but I certainly like the sound of them. I can't entirely avoid doing laundry so it would be fabulous to unlock some LAP in the process. Let's mull this around, shall we? To be continued...

Gamer personality - (Matthew W.)

2012-01-09T18:02:00.000-08:00

QUIZ BELOW: What Your Man's Video Gaming Says About Him and His Potential

A la Cosmopolitan, answer these questions to discover what really matters: your man's video gamer personality.

1. When did your man start playing video games regularly?
A. At a young age, possibly under the influence of a Japanese friend, or other socially awkward companion
B. In high school or college because every one else was staying up til 2am doing it
C. In the womb

2. When your man is playing what do you have to do to get his attention?
A. Stand directly in his field of view
B. Wait until he dies and then say his name sharply and loudly
C. Nothing, it is impossible to get his attention

3. What is your man playing right now?
A. Skyrim in an attempt to beat it before Mass Effect 3 comes out
B. Modern Warfare 3 in an attempt to put that 12-year-old online snot in his place
C. What is he not playing?

4. When your man is playing games what does he prefer you do?
A. Sit close by, provide positive feedback and help him solve the puzzles
B. Simply share a snack or do something you enjoy on your own
C. Leave the house

5. How many pieces of video game inspired clothing does your man own?
A. A few
B. None
C. That is all he owns

Mostly A's: Video Game Geek - your man may be obsessed, but he is super cute.
the good: his hobby is harmless. he has plenty of room for you.
the bad: you may hear more about the adventures from his latest video game title than his actual life.
the bedroom: blow his mind with 8-bit inspired lingerie.

Mostly B's: Video Game Gangsta - your man may be charged with testosterone, but he has found an acceptable outlet.
the good: his drive will equal success in all areas of life. stick with him and reap the rewards.
the bad: he may be using video games to compensate for a self-assumed shortcoming.
the bedroom: stroke his ego. or controller. or both.

Do you miss softball? - (M. Kendall L.)

2012-01-08T19:04:00.000-08:00

When I was a lass I fancied myself a tomboy. I rode my bike, climbed trees, abhorred pink and played softball. I loved going to Orioles games with my dad. My favorite player back then was #12 Mike Devereaux.

I started playing on my church league when I was 8. My cousin, Nicole played with me on my team. She pitched and I caught. We were a dynamic duo of sorts. When I started out, I played behind the plate because, frankly, I wasn't that great. As I got older, the game became more interesting (stealing bases, facing 65 mph fast balls at only 40 feet, colliding with girls twice my size, dislocating thumbs) and I played behind the plate because, frankly, I was good.

My softball career ended when I graduated from high school. As an adult, it did enjoy a brief revival in the social scene. For at least two years I was a proud member of the Polk Audio co-ed slow pitch softball team. Believe it or not, we did not drink on the field. We were serious. And, we seriously lost most of our games. It was fun.

I actually don't remember too much about those days (clearly due to the brain cell loss I have suffered since. I blame pregnancy and what results.) I do, however, remember going out after the games. We would hit a local restaurant that serendipitously offered two for one pizzas and imports those nights. Actually, I am not sure that was a real deal, but we (not me specifically) knew two very well endowed waitresses that, for some reason I do not understand, hooked us up.

Moving on, I don't think I miss softball, exactly. But, I do miss getting out and playing like I did when I was 8. I miss sitting outside in the warmth of a summer dusk eating sweet potato fries with my team, all sweaty and dusty from a game.

Addendum (a first in voyeur history): I can't leave the subject of softball without mentioning comedian Brian Regan. Here is audio of one of his more famous bits on Little League. If you want to skip to the softball minute try 5:35, but I recommend listening straight through. (I apologize for the ridiculous photo stills, but I guess a lot of his older live stuff is down now due to copyright issues.)

Daughters - (Zach L.)

2012-01-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

My life's focus is my two daughters. Their very existence gives mine a deeper purpose than I would ever discover without them. Even at very young ages, their actions teach and inspire. My eldest is nearly three and already has a perspective and wit that makes me smile. My youngest is a couple months shy of one, but communicates with a confidence many adults lack. They have already developed a precious bond, one that I thought might take years. I feel pure joy when I observe them laughing, playing and snuggling together. Their innocence energizes me.

Some times, though, I feel hidden behind them, my two cute bubbly babies who steal the show. They rightly take priority over almost any thing else in my world. It would be impossible to count the showers, meals, and hours of sleep I have already lost. On occasion, I sacrifice in a state of melodramatic mommy martyrdom. Mostly, I hope, I simply woman up and do what is best. In good ways and in bad, they drain me, oh do they drain me.

Thankfully, I have recently embraced the importance of taking care of myself. It's hard, but I have the honor of being home full time with my daughters. I love them so much and they deserve the best me I can give. So, some times I put myself first. Writing this blog is one way I make time for finding my own voice. I pray it is one they admire.

"A startled or surprised look from one of you when I spoke sharply rebuked me more than any words could have done, and the love, respect, and confidence of my children was the sweetest reward I could receive for my efforts to be the woman I would have them copy."

-Lousia May Alcott, Little Women

Does anyone play pong, below the root or tetris? - (Brenda S.)

2012-01-06T19:44:00.000-08:00

In my expert opinion, the short answer to this question is: yes, no, absolutely.

Before I delve deeper, I would like to applaud Brenda on astutely listing these games in chronological order based on their US release. Pong debuted in 1973, Below the Root in 1984 and Tetris in 1987. Holy throwback, Batman.

Pong is generally considered the first successful video game on the market. It proved that games like these could make money. Pong first hit bars in the form of huge bright yellow arcade cabinets thanks to Atari.

Do people still play pong? Yes. Atari has a Pong pack available as part of it's Greatest Hits for mobile devices and the cabinets are still around. The hubs and I played on one a couple of years back at the Strong Museum. Just tonight, I played a version at ponggame.org (presumably a version very close to the original as it kept freezing on me.) Regardless, I highly recommend you reminisce. And, if you have never played Pong before, by all means, now is your chance.

On to Below the Root. It was released on "flashback floppy" for IBM PC, Commodore 64 and Apple II. Categorized as a single player adventure game, it was based on a trilogy of novels written just a few years prior. I am pretty sure Brenda may have been the only person to play this game, but if that were actually the case a lot of people missed out. It seemed fairly intricate for 1984. For instance, you could choose to play as one of five characters (of two separate races) each with different abilities. The graphics weren't bad for their day either. This is what the game looked like:

Do people still play Below the Root? Brenda has an iPad now so my guess is no.

Time for Tetris! I love Tetris. My passion was renewed just tonight when I played it again for the first time. Born in 1984 in Russia, Tetris came to American PC's in 1987. Then, in 1989, Nintendo (who by then owned the exclusive handheld rights to the game) bundled their brand new Gameboy device with the classic (and sold 35 million of them.)

As soon as I uttered the word "Tetris" tonight, the hubs was up the stairs (and back down) in a flash, both original Gameboy and Tetris cartridge in hand. Game on. Well, first he had to gingerly remove the acid coated AA's. And then he realized he had grabbed Metroid by mistake (or was it?) Long story short, I played Tetris tonight! Twice! My high score was Level 11 and 34,847 points. As crazy as it may be, as soon as I post this, I might enjoy another round. The juxtaposition of playing Tetris on the original Gameboy while my husband plays Skyrim on the 360 is kinda groovy.

Do people still play Tetris? Abso-friggin-lutely! They also still play "Korobeiniki" the 19th century Russian folk song more popularly known as Type A Tetris Theme Music. I found (and listened to) renditions on the following instruments: piano, ukelele, laser harp, church organ, glass bottles and cell phone. Then there is the rock remix. Ah, the internet.

Gameplay vs. graphics - (Mark C.)

2012-01-05T17:50:00.000-08:00

I am having trouble focusing on the post for tonight because I am mesmerized by the fire burning in our fireplace before me. My toes are super toasty. Don't mind me whilst I stare off into space for a bit...

Then I get to thinking (uh oh, voyeur brain on the loose.) A fireplace fire is always beautiful. It displays vibrant colors full of movement. It is constantly changing and evolving. It is powerful. It draws us in.

But, a fire does not burn without wood. And wood is not particularly alluring on it's own (please don't read too much into that statement.) Dry wood is particularly mundane. It is naked of its bark, foliage and branches. It is gray and cracked. But, baby does it burn. It produces the stunning show I am now considering.

What does this have to do with gameplay vs. graphics? I am not entirely sure, exactly. Probably nothing.

As you know, I do not play video games. I watch video games. However, I know full well that video games are meant to be played. Maybe I am going out on a limb here, but what good would a video game be if it looked really beautiful, but was clunky and boring?

Take Marla Hooch, for example. What a hitter! That girl could play ball. But, based on her looks (particularly at the beginning of the movie) no man would even consider the dirt in her skirt. She almost lost her chance to try out for the All American Girls Baseball League because she wasn't pretty.

Yes, some video games look and play like Geena Davis or Madonna. Immaturity may lead a young gamer to think that those types of games should be the rule rather than the exception. Years of gaming will prove him wrong. He will tire of gorgeous backgrounds that take a long time to load and story lines that are dull and narrow in scope. Sure these games look amazing on his 72" flat screen television, but wouldn't it be refreshing to be with a woman who is articulate and doesn't take an hour and a half to primp to grab a bite?

Wait, what were we talking about?

Because my husband is also articulate here are a few thoughts of his on the matter (you know the actual video game stuff):

Gameplay vs Graphics.

Skyrim vs MW3 is a good example. Graphics in Skyrim are rough and there are many bugs, but the gameplay is so engrossing that gamers are willing to look past it. MW3 is beautiful, runs at 60 frames per second (makes it look smooth), but gets criticism for being a “corridor” shooter with endless spawning enemies if you don’t advance.

Other examples?

I’m playing through Final Fantasy tactics for the third time (on my phone, no less), because I just enjoy the gameplay and leveling system so much. It’s a 14 year old game.

But with a game like Batman: Arkham City, you don’t have to choose.

Just to clarify, I would never advocate choosing gameplay over graphics or graphics over gameplay or settling in any way. I am just harping on the old adage not to judge a book by its cover. As a college professor once said (yes, at my Christian college), "Just because the prune is wrinkled doesn't mean it doesn't taste good."

Food or cake related video game - (Brenda S.)

2012-01-04T18:59:00.000-08:00

This topic required research. Neither my husband nor I were well versed in such a game. Until now...

I had heard of the "Cooking Mama" series of games for both Wii and Nintendo DS systems so I decided to start (and end) there. My first act of serious video game research led me to YouTube where I discovered that there are approximately 63.2 different iterations of these games. I randomly watched this trailer first:

Octopus, anyone? And, what's with the dog?

Anyway, I proceeded to watch video after video after video. And then it occurred to me: I could watch video games whenever I wanted to! I could watch games my husband would never ever play (like this one!) I knew this blogging thing would help me grow.

Bing!, another light bulb went off. Maybe he would never play it, but what about me? I reached for my iPhone and browsed the App Store as my second act of serious video game research. Yes, indeed there were two Cooking Mama apps. For the sake of you, my beloved readers, I sprung for the free version cleverly called "Cooking Mama Lite."

The first recipe I made was "hamburger stewed in tomato sauce" though I do not recall using any tomatoes. My first task was to chop the onion by violently tapping the screen. I received a "very good" accompanied by the glimmering starry anime eyes of "Mama." I also proved skilled at moving the butter around to coat the pan.

The third step was to cook the onion, but to be careful not to let it burn. At this, I failed. I did not realize I must first tap the onion to put in the pan. I spent at least 15 seconds earnestly shaking my phone to mimic stir frying an empty pan. Mama met me with burning eyes (literally she had one small ball of fire flickering in each socket. It was quite fabulous. You should check it out.)

Though disheartening, it was this segment of the game that reminded me of a line from my January 1 post. "Hurry! get the chopped veggies in the pan before the oil gets too hot." Apparently, I am not as original as I once thought. Or maybe the video game gods were trying to tell me something. I kneaded and shaped the hell out of the hamburger and then returned to YouTube. I found this:

Grocery shopping, speedy challenges, general ridiculousness...I AM a video game! (An aside - is anyone seeing the alcohol references in these trailers?!?)

Oh, and I also found this. Yes, the game comes with the doll. I will let it speak for itself, but please do not hesitate to let me know what you think.

What early childhood game does the hubs remember? - (Mark C.)

2012-01-03T17:48:00.000-08:00

Apparently, My husband and Mark C. are in cahoots to take over my blog. Evidence: January 1 the blog was suggested by Mark. January 2 the blog was suggested by my husband AND was about him. Today's post was suggested by Mark and is about the hubs yet again. I suppose this is what I should have expected when I assigned him the duty of crafting my writing challenge list.

In order to take back what is rightfully mine I will interview my husband for this post and wildly misrepresent his answers for my gain. Giddy-up:

When did you first play video games?
Good question. I don’t know. Though I’m sure it was under the influence of my brother.

What is one of your earliest video game memories?
I guess playing Centipede on Atari 2600.

Hmm, interesting...never heard of it. When did you know you were an avid video gamer?

When I was willing to purchase a Nintendo 64 on launch day just to have it, even though I didn’t have enough money saved up to buy a game as well. Thanks for spotting me, mom. (I love this story...isn't he the cutest?!?)

Was your family supportive of your interests?

My brother was certainly supportive. There were a few years where I was old enough to play games with him and he was still in the house. My mom was surprisingly supportive. She bought into the hand-eye coordination, using your brain thing. I vividly remember a short conversation we had.

Me: Can I watch tv?

Mom: No

Me: Can I play video games?

Mom: Yes.

Do you harbor any repressed feelings regarding video games and childhood?

How should I know? They’d be repressed, right?

Fine, good point. Now, I know the answer to this, well maybe I don't actually, but for the people at home...please tell us, do you still own any of your childhood games/systems? (eye roll...here we go)

Question: When does childhood end?

Systems: All of them except the DS I recently traded in. NES, SNES, N64, GC, Wii, original Gameboy, GB pocket, GB color, GB Advance, GB Advance SP, 3DS, Virtual Boy, Super Scope 6 (counting as a system because it is hardware), Playstation, Playstation 2.

Games: It’s philosophical. For current-generation games, I have no problem trading them in, and for a couple reasons. They are readily available. If I wanted to relive an xbox game from a few years ago, I can get it in the bargain bin at GameStop. Also, saved games are on my hard drive now, not a cartridge. I would have a more difficult time getting rid of my Secret of Mana cartridge with a save at the end of the game. I have dozens of NES, SNES and Gameboy games laying around.

Do you own any other video game paraphernalia?
No. (Thank God.) Nintendo boxers. (Which I bought him.)

How will you introduce gaming to our young ones?
Hmm. Carefully. As with any media, you have be aware of what your kids see. Plus, I know it can be a slippery slope and a time-waster if not treated correctly.

Ok, so I have to admit that, in actuality, I quoted my husband nearly verbatim. He had interesting nuggets to share I didn't really answer Mark's question though. Oops :)

How my husband survied a week without his 360 - (Zach L.)

2012-01-02T17:44:00.000-08:00

I consider myself to be fairly low maintenance. I rarely wear makeup. I will pee in the woods. I have gone without coffee. Really, the only thing I won't tolerate is pulp in my orange juice. That's just gross.

For the most part, I consider my husband to be low maintenance, too. Though he has a well defined taste for certain things, I have never seen him pitch a fit out of inflexibility. Which is why this blog theme (submitted nearly a week before we left on vacation) puzzled me. Perhaps he has it worse than I realized. Clearly, he is functional, but addicted all the same.

If you are also an avid video gamer, this is the moment in my post where you can feel free to raise your 3DS, smartphone, or other mobile device above your head with two outstretched hands, close your eyes, and lift a prayer of thanks to its creator (small c, though I suppose the big C would also be happy to hear from you so go for it.)

So, how did he survive a week (at his mom's) without his 360? Clearly, his iPhone helped, but I think a couple other things helped him cope. Here they are (in my opinion):

1.Food. My mother-in-law knows how to baby her baby (and his girls.) On top of the normal holiday bounty, she made for us (in one day alone) french toast, Manhattan clam chowder, spaghetti and meatballs and homemade hot fudge sauce for our ice cream.

2.The Strong National Museum of Play. If you have never been, I highly recommend it. We took our toddler one morning and she had a blast. She pretend-shopped at a mini Wegman's, discovered the classic magic that is a slinky, and helped build an actual keystone arch out of blocks that she could walk under. Oh, and did I mention there was a video game exhibit?

3.Infinity Blade. Even though the hubs brought his 3DS to play the new Professor Layton game he never turned it on. I suppose his iPhone met his needs this week. Regardless, one downside to mobile gaming, of course, is the inferior voyeuring it provides. He graciously offered to show me his game and his sword and everything one night, but I had a headache.

4.Words with Friends. Honestly, this game also added enjoyment to my week (I am part of the mobile gaming community, what?!?). My sweet man bought be an iPhone 4s for Christmas and I am in love. I have barely begun to fully embrace its capabilities, but I have downloaded Words with Friends. And lost. To my husband. Which was made even worse when, not only did the banner of the game exclaim "You lost!", but the alert popped up with this message: "Zach L. has won. You have lost to Zach L." I get it! How many times must you rub my face in it? Sheesh.

So...who wants to play?

If I were a video game, which would I be and why? - (Mark C.)

2012-01-01T18:08:00.000-08:00

This sounds like a ThinkGeek University application question. Therefore, I shall respond in five paragraph essay format (sans the archaic double spacing). What up Catholic prep school?!?

If I Were A Video Game, Which Would I Be And Why
By: Kristin LeFeber a.k.a. The Video Game Voyeur

Video games are an integral part of modern day society in America. Gaming has begun to define who we are as a nation (a bunch of superheroes). Like television, radio and other forms of entertainment, video games encourage us to pretend to be someone we are not. I am too much of a realist. So, If I were a video game, I would clearly be a Supermarket Sweep, WarioWare, super stay at home mom, domestic goddess speed challenge type game.

According to Wikipedia, "Supermarket Sweep is an American television game show. Part of the format was similar to other team-based quiz shows; the other part was a live-action race through a supermarket, a novel concept at the time." I used to love watching this show. There is nothing quite like watching a married 80's couple in matching red sweatshirts and white Keds toss eight huge fresh turkeys and seven garden hoses into a shopping cart. Supermarket Sweep embodies my love of grocery shopping (and avoids my laundry loathing) with my love of just the right amount of cheesy. Cheesiness that is akin to greeting cards and high-fiving or thumbs-upping. I love all that stuff.

Like Supermarket Sweep, the Nintendo Wii game, WarioWare, is fast paced and requires a lack of shame to succeed. Yes, WarioWare is one of the few video games I have dared to play and it was amazing. Again, quoting Wikipedia, "Gameplay in all WarioWare games is distinct from most other games, as they involve the player or players trying to beat the microgames (less than 5 seconds) as soon as possible. Most games present instructions in the form of a verb and quickly drop the player into the situation where they must perform said verb." One minute you are swinging the Wii-mote to "chop" a log, the next minute you are flapping your arms wildly to "fly". And while fun to play, my friends, it was never lost on this voyeur how fun it is to watch (the other players look like fools.)

As I have made clear, I enjoy games that are fast paced and goofy. These type of games reflect my personality. It is almost impossible for me to do anything slowly. I talk quickly, I think quickly, I move around the house in a flurry, I rarely sit still. My tendency for speed (and silliness, too) has served me well as a mom. Despite having two little girls, I am often out of the house earlier than planned. If I happen to forget a bib or a snack, I can think fast and be resourceful. When I read books, I do the voices. When they get antsy at the store I devise quirky quips to distract their attention. Motherhood is mostly about simply surviving each new challenge as it comes along, after all.

In conclusion, if I were a video game I would be a non-stop series of mini and micro games that (using Wii or Kinect type technology) require the player to perform domestically related tasks as quickly as possible. Quick! mix the formula before the infant cries. Hurry! get the chopped veggies in the pan before the oil gets too hot. Run! collect the recycling before the truck pulls away. Earn rewards for each stage of games completed such as lattes, minutes lying on the couch and maybe even manicures. Video games have become a big part of our culture. Embrace them by becoming one. It's fun.

Have yourself a merry little

2011-12-24T19:27:00.000-08:00

Our children are nestled, all snug in their beds, as we the parents, drink champagne and let it go to our heads.

As I type, my husband is assembling his childhood train set in front of our Christmas tree as a gift for our eldest. Because he loves me (and you, too) he first created the official 30 day writing challenge list for your viewing pleasure. It should come to no surprise to you that in order to accomplish this task he created a spreadsheet complete with a column that tallied how many entries he had chosen (x for yes, m for maybe.) Apparently, he can not otherwise count to 30.

Thank you for all of your fabulous ideas. I received nearly twice as many as I needed and this resulted in some tough decisions. They were all enticing ideas that I may just save for later anyway.

And so, without further adieu, I present my Christmas gift to you. Here, in a very specific order, are the voyeur's blog topics for January:

1.If I were a video game, which would I be and why

2.How my husband survived a week without his 360

3.What early childhood game does the hubs remember

4.Food or cake related video game

5.Gameplay vs graphics

6.Does anyone play pong, below the root, or tetris>

7.Daughters

8.Do you miss softball

9.Gamer personality (do you define the game/gaming preference? ...does the game/gaming preference define you?)

10.Top 10 hottest video game chicks to play as

11.Laundry Achievement Points.

12.Kazumi

13.Interview voyeurs and compare experiences

14.Your dream video game

15.Voice acting (or attempting)

16.How I put too much pressure on myself

17.Cosplay

18."There's an app for that"

19.Mobile gaming

20.Potty Training

21.Joystick

22.How good are the stories/ plot in games you watch - any attachment to the story?

23.Mini/micro vans

24.Matthew's birthday

25.My girls in 10 years

26.Back when I was in college

27.Food pairings with video games

28.Video game impaired

29.Stupid hot girls on G4

30.Gamer dads

And now, back to my carpet picnic and champagne.

Merry Merry.

30 Day Writing Challenge

2011-12-15T06:04:00.000-08:00

Ok, folks, I need you.

In an attempt to rejuvenate I am embarking on an adventure. I am not one for new year resolutions, but come January 1 I plan to blog once a day for 30 days. The self inflicted rules are as follows:

1. Write one blog entry for this site each day for the first 30 days in January 2012.
2. Each entry must be at least 200 words and posted by midnight that day.
3. Each entry must be written based on a single word or phrase prompt.
4. The prompts will be chosen from suggestions from the blog's beloved readers.
5. The order of the entries will be designed by the hubs and publicized via this blog on December 24 (My Christmas gift to you).
6. Though the daily theme does not need to be video game related, each entry must be written in the style of the video game voyeur (random, saucy and kinda sorta funny).
7. The daily blog title will feature the prompt and the person who submitted it.
8. Each blog will be shared on both Facebook and Twitter at the time of posting.
9. This endeavor will officially conclude on January 31 at the CurlyRed 5 year anniversary party where girl power will be fully celebrated.

So, as I said, I need you. Please send me your blog theme suggestions as soon as you feel moved. You can leave them as a comment here, there, or basically anywhere. If you need inspiration, there are many 30 day challenge lists online. The first list I saw was for photography and was what inspired me to take this journey to improve my art. Since talking (I mean writing) is my thing, I am adapting the idea and making the challenge my own. Help me create a unique one, one that you will also enjoy.

In video game related news: my husband bet Arkham City, is STILL playing Skyrim and spent at least 20 minutes tonight discussing games in which he had to blow into his handheld system. Thrilling, I know.

What I got

2011-11-17T18:23:00.000-08:00

I feel like crap. I am tired. I feel run down. Dinner is not sitting quite right. And I think I am getting another cold. I am already curled up on the couch in my pj's dozing off. I can barely keep my eyes open. As my grandmother used to say, "they are like two pee holes in the snow." But, for some reason I keep glancing at the TV. My husband is playing the new Saints Row.

The irony is not lost on me. Here I am, a complete blob on the couch, looking like I've been run over, feeling like I just snorted a jar of preschool paste and my husband is manipulating his sexy and scantily clad Saints character as she hangs out of a helicopter like the goddess of gang.

Her name is Rosalita. He went for a sporty Hispanic spice theme when he created her in the Saints Row Initiation Station days before the game even launched. Her hair is so black it shines blue and her boobs are so big I get a little embarrassed when I find myself staring at them. He dressed her in tight black leggings, a tiny bandeau top and a cropped red jacket. She has a lower back tattoo.

I hate Rosalita, but I can't stop watching Saints Row. When it rains there, the streets glisten. Maybe if I fall asleep here on the couch I will be transported to Steelport where all my wildest dreams will come true. Purple is my favorite color.

Or, maybe I should just go upstairs, take NyQuil, and pass out on my bed like a sensible person.

Delay of game

2011-11-15T19:45:00.000-08:00

My husband and I have a deal. He can buy as many video games as he wants as long as he can afford them. "Afford them," you ask, "aren't you a kept woman? Doesn't he bring home all the bacon?"

Yes, yes he does. Like a 50's housewife I get a monthly allowance. Like a man of the new millennium he does too.

My fun money falls by the wayside at Starbucks and Panera and Dunkin' Donuts and on the occasional girls night out. Clearly, I am motivated by coffee and food. His tab is run up at Game Stop and Game Stop and Game Stop and Banana Republic. He is motivated by video games and sweaters.

So tonight, when I returned from an aforementioned girls night out, I did not find my husband playing Saints Row: The Third as I fully expected. Instead, I found him Sky-riming it up yet again. (I hear you can play that game for infinity or some such frame of time.)

He seemed to be enjoying himself. I certainly enjoyed my evening. Burgers and beer at a local joint where, if you want, you can ask them to put peanut butter on your buns. (The buns of your burger, people, the buns of your burger.) Though, the latter suggestion almost seems to make more sense.

Long story short, the hubs is tapped out. He has no money left. His sad copy of Saints Row is sitting lonely in a Game Stop somewhere and he is too broke to buy. There have just been too many good games to get. Video game launch season is taking it out of everyone in every way. Spending is way up (not mine, just his) marriages are disintegrating (not mine again) and children are being ignored (again, not mine, of course), but we might just come out of this recession yet.

Lay eggs, much?

2011-11-13T18:36:00.000-08:00

The voyeur is trying something new. I am actually blogging while I watch. Revolutionary, I know.

As I type, my husband is playing Modern Warfare 3 with both the TV audio and his headphones on. I have been told that, yes, he is also listening to the game through the headphones and that, yes, he knows how silly this must seem.

I like watching the game more than Battlefield 3, but probably only because I am familiar with the Call of Duty family of games. Can I refer to a series of games as a family? Or is that too domestic of me? I will try to turn down the estrogen just a bit. This is a very manly moment after all.

I will try to talk to my husband anyway:

So, honey, why are you listening to the game in this seemingly redundant way?
well, so...so, you...you can hear the game some. I don't want you to be completely left out. And, then uh, plus, uh I can turn it on as loud as...as I want. <geeked out grin>

Is it difficult for you to talk to me and play at the same time?
<shakes head, lifts one headphone off ear a tiny bit>
I'll probably turn it down some. (does not turn it down. I step away.)

Hmm, I have just returned to the video game viewing room and it seems my husband is now playing Skyrim. In the time that it took me to clear my dinner dishes (leftover barbeque chicken, raw broccoli with ranch dressing and cheetos...do I know how to rock the five food groups or what?) he has switched over to roll playing game mode. The headphones are neatly holstered and his feet are up on the couch. Roll playing games such as Skyrim do not require the intense video game playing position. Did he dim the lights??

Furthermore, what is a Skyrim any way? It sounds like a step below the mile high club.

So, as I have intimated, there is a lot of video gaming going on 'round here. 'Tis the season. Battlefield 3, Modern Warfare 3, Arkham City, and Skyrim have all graced our console this week with the new Saints Row on its way, stay tuned. I can't say that I mind especially after that stupid game my stupid Ravens just played.

Don't get me wrong, I am no hater. I am still a true fan. But, if a cheeseburger makes me throw up I have the right to call it a stupid cheeseburger no matter how faithful I am to cheeseburgers. Can I get an amen?

Can you tell me how to get?

2011-10-30T11:59:00.000-07:00

I need to lighten up. I've been in a pretty serious mood lately. For instance, the other day I discovered my seven month old mesmerized by a television screen lit up with loud, ammunition filled gaming. I became internally furious immediately.

However, how is this any different than me sitting the same seven month old down in front of some beeping, flashing, spasm inducing baby piano while I read a magazine on the couch?

Well, ok, maybe the guns and the blood...

But to her its all movement and light and sound and baby groovy. She was being entertained. She was sitting there for five minutes. We parents were taking a wee break. I won't bother to defend our parenting here because if you know us, and most of you do, you know us. And, if you don't know us, your loss.

Which somehow brings me to Elmo. My toddler is going to be Elmo for Halloween. When she asked for this privilege, there was no hesitation. I actually like Elmo. So, I was happy to buy my little one the costume from Target and encourage her to pretend to be Elmo while riding her tricycle.

Here is where I hesitate: do I encourage her to "become" Elmo in Once Upon a Monster?

My husband and I don't even own Kinect for the 360 (though I feel its purchase may be imminent). It's just something I have been thinking about: Kids (little ones like ours) and gaming.

While, yes, we should limit the amount of violent gaming our tiny girls witness to virtually none, what about other games, especially those designed for them? What about Once Upon a Monster? On one hand, I am excited for my husband to introduce gaming to our eldest. It would be something for them to share. It would be a new way to pass a rainy day. She might even advance her coordination and stimulate her brain.

On the other hand, I worry it might be too soon. When she started watching Sesame Street on TV, I knew there would be no going back, but she was two years old and I knew it was time. With video games I am not so sure. Will "playing" Sesame Street be her gateway game? Will she want to do nothing else? Are first person shooters next? Will she become obese? Depressed? Sit in dark rooms and fester, full of angst?

As I said, I need to lighten up.

Kevin Clash, the genius puppeteer behind Elmo, describes the red furry monster as being all about love. As a parent, I think you can positively share most anything with your children as long as it is done in love. This includes video games. And so, I foresee a neon green case (and a Kinect) hung by the chimney with care. But, for now, Happy Halloween everyone. Play safe. Play in love. Like Elmo.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes...

2011-10-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

Marriage changes everything, well, except for one thing. Marriage does not change who you were before you got married. This may sound promising to all you negative nuptial nancies out there. However, all this means is that you were one person before you got married and now you are someone else.

Even if you agree on the correct way to fold socks you now fold your socks in the company of another. Instead of lounging on your bean bag chair, drooling cup o' noodles on your boxers while rolling socks in front of Family Guy, you will now be relaxing on your duvet, sipping herbal tea in your slippers while rolling socks in front of reality TV. Life will never be the same.

It will be better.

My husband and I have a dear friend, the best man at our wedding, who, for the sake of this blog I will refer to as "The Raptor". The Raptor is getting married himself in a few short days. We are both very excited and, no, not just because those will be our first nights away since baby #2.

Even though he has been accused of being "too cheap to buy, so he only rents and then beats it all weekend" and plays games "shrieking like a schoolgirl", The Raptor is a gamer all the same. Sadly, there is a double standard when it comes to past times and romantic relationships. Women can hot glue who knows what to who knows what else until the cows come home, but if a guy wants to play a few video games now and again he is an immature home wrecker.

My husband remains somewhat positive, "The Raptor is getting married. Hopefully this will translate into more gaming. Once he started dating his fiance, all his Xbox time went from gaming to 'watching Netflix'. As I know, 'watching Netflix' tapers off significantly after a few months of marriage."

Another married in his gaming circle feels differently, "The Raptor has moved into the next phase of gaming, which is NOT gaming. Virtual friendships wither and die, hand-eye coordination takes a turn for the worst, and sniping skills aren't what they used to be. Bridge club is next."

A third hitched buddy upholds The Raptor's gaming reputation, "He's meticulous, methodical, sneaky, and a little bit blood-thirsty. He enjoys taking his time and paying attention to detail as long as there is a tempestuous climax. My advice to him? Take it to the bedroom."

Sorry Rap, there is a "but." And here it is...

"When the honeymoon is over and the dew is off the pumpkin (or something like that), 'gaming' may not be as frequent as you had once thought to be reasonable. Just remember you can always play with your Game Boy. Classic fun."

My professional thoughts on the issue? All married couples have at least one thing to which all their arguments boil down. Do not make that issue gaming or hot glue. Yes, two do become one, but the original "ones" do not become none. Respect eachother's interests and sometimes play together. Maybe there is money, or enjoyment, or at least a laugh in video game themed crafts, for example. X and Y button cufflinks anyone?

All this to say, I am very happy for The Raptor. He more than deserves all the love and excitement his marriage will undoubtedly bring. I wish him and his soon to be wife a heap of happiness. In fact, now that I think about it, I wish them "50 grand peas" worth.

Just another day in paradise

2011-09-27T18:32:00.000-07:00

Let me set the scene for you: It's a weekday, say Tuesday, at around 1:30 p.m. I have successfully orchestrated the day so that the girls are both napping and I have a few minutes to myself to, I don't know, fold laundry and eat lunch. I decide to watch some Gilmore Girls to unwind. I approach the 360 and open the tray and then BAM!, like a whammy the Gears of War 3 skull of death icon on the game's disc slaps me in the face.
So scary.

A similar moment plays out in the evening, say later that same day, at around 8:30 p.m. My husband and I now, thanks to the little ones sharing a 7:30 bedtime, have the living room to ourselves to, I don't know, play video games and write blogs. He decides to play some Gears to unwind. He approaches the 360 and opens the tray and then La la la la la la, there is the beautiful Lauren Graham gazing longingly on the show's disc to bring a smile to his face.
So sexy.

Life is not fair.

What is fair is that while my husband plays Gears, which is so beautiful it is ugly, he wears his groovy new headset. While I am no prude, this game has no filter. It is loud and crass and relentless just like me...wait.

Anyway, as I was saying, the dialogue leaves much to be desired which I suppose may be part of the game's charm. I do, however, enjoy reading it quite a bit. See, my husband wears the headset, but the game still shows subtitles. It is my own personal MST 3000. I also play, "things you never want to hear your husband say" while I watch. Examples:

"That was nasty. Let's move out."
"Yeah, imagine if you had to root around for parts all the time."
"Spread out and keep moving!"

Yikes.

In short, I would rather just listen to this video game on tape, but that is so 1989.

Do your ears hang low?

2011-09-21T18:15:00.000-07:00

As I type this, my husband is playing video games AND participating in a conference call for work. Hot. That's right ladies...did I mention he is also 6'1"?

In his defense (and I always am), he has worked long hours all week and he is mostly just listening in on the call. Plus, Gears of War 3 just came out yesterday. A man's gotta be a man.

I haven't watched much of Gears yet, but I have watched quite a bit of Deus Ex: Human Revolution. Please forgive me, I couldn't figure out how to make a groovy little triangle on my computer to make the "A" in Human. Besides, aren't the triangles the bad guys? This confuses me.

Another fault I have related to this game is my inability to say the game's name correctly. I insist on calling it "Deuce Ex." In fact, I don't think I have ever called it anything else. Despite the fact that it sounds like a laxative, I think I prefer my name. What the deuce is a "deus" anyway?

I like watching "Deuce." I especially like when my husband approaches the game all sneaky pete like. Apparently, that is one of the perks of this game. It can suit your mood. If you want to go at it guns a blazin, you can. Or, if you want to take it slow and try to go unseen you can do that too. Variety is always a bonus in my book.

This is the first I have seen of Deus Ex. I look forward to seeing more. From the look of these "hold" icons the game is well endowed. And I have heard it can take awhile to load. Hilarious. Am I the only one who notices these things?!?

You'll shoot your eye out

2011-09-07T06:27:00.000-07:00

As you know, I contemplated purchasing a PS3 for my husband for his birthday. But, I just couldn't go through with it. It felt wrong. I don't buy video game consoles. He doesn't expect me to. He doesn't buy tampons. I don't expect him to. There are lines in a lasting marriage, for Pete's sake.

So, instead I bought him The Turtle Beach Earforce PX5 Programmable Wireless Headset with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time. He likes it.

You may think I am a clever voyeur who deeply understands the needs of her husband, but you would be wrong. He emailed me a link for the headset with the subject line "options." I did, however, find it cheaper on Amazon and scored my free two-day Primal Mom shipping. I put in some effort. And I wrapped it. Happy birthday, baby.

The problem is that while my husband attentively sits and plays in absolute Dolby delight, I am relegated to the sidelines. The game world has opened up for him. It is fresh, exciting and full of hope. With each new footstep or gun cock comes a quickening of his heart. He never knew the game could sound like this. Ah, love.

Meanwhile, I sit slumped on the couch, gazing back and forth between him and the game, the game and him. I try to read his expression, the words on the screen, anything to get a clue of what is going on. I try to ask a question, make a joke, but it is no use. He can not hear me. I take a swig of beer and sigh. I feel defeated, tossed aside. Alone.

But just as I rise to tromp upstairs, my husband turns to me and smiles. "Hey babe," he says a little louder than he probably meant to. I awkwardly act as if I was merely adjusting my position on the couch. I smile back. He slides the earphone closest to me just a bit off the lobe, sends me an air kiss and turns back to the screen. An invitation.

Top 9 reasons I have not blogged in 3 weeks

2011-09-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

9. Beer.
There is always beer in the house, but not MY beer. I don't need beer to be witty, but it helps. And motivates.
8. Vacation.
We had a lovely time on Lake George with the extended fam. However, I feel like I could still use a vacation. Funny how that works.
7. Rice cereal.
I forgot how messy and time consuming spoon feeding an infant could be. And how similar to cement baby rice cereal mixed with formula can become.
6. Hurricane.
We only lost power for 48 hours and thankfully still had hot water. The true tragedy was that we lost internet and cable for 120 hours. I am still trembling a bit from the shock.
5. Earthquake.
Ok..., so this contributed in no way to my lack of blogging. It just seemed like the appropriate follow up to number 6.
4. The Social Network.
We watched part of this movie before we lost power and then finished it once it was regained. If this blog isn't going to make me the second youngest billionaire...
3. Elders.
Yup, as in church elders. I just realized half of the elder team at my church publicly follows my blog and I know another reads it regularly. Don't worry, this will in no way decrease the sauciness of my posts. But, it has made me spend valuable blogging time considering whether or not to move to a church with more mature leadership.
2. Candlelight.
Yes, I know I already mentioned the blackout. But, the candlelight left a lasting impression. At first, my husband and I played a game of Scrabble to pass the time. Then we played "a game of Scrabble" to pass the time. (eh hem) "Scrabble" by candlelight is a lost art. Even after the power returned we chose "Scrabble."
1. The hubs
You may gasp and ask, how could this be?!?! How could my AVG be the reason for my blogglessness? Well, frankly, he hasn't been gaming with any regularity. Please refer to numbers 8, 7, 6, 5 and 2. and 2 again. and 2 again. and...

I smell sex and candy

2011-08-11T08:20:00.000-07:00

My husband became acutely concerned by my stated lack of voyeuring. The very next day he traded in several games for several others, one of which is Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga. He has seemingly been playing it nonstop since.

I am a Lego game virgin. Shocking, I know. And I call myself a video game voyeur...

In short, I like it. It's cute. Plus, there is nothing like a video game with a killer epic soundtrack. I suppose it's not the manliest game my husband could play, but he has no need to compensate. You should see his stud total.

I don't know much about Lego's or Star Wars for that matter, but I appreciate the fabulous geek concoction this game creates. My husband seems to enjoy drinking it all in and that makes me happy. I am pretty sure this game was born out of male adolescent fantasy in the way "Pink Elephants on Parade" was born out of an acid trip.

My favorite aspect of the game are the Jedi characters because they look like little white and milk chocolate bites of deliciousness. Hersheypark's Chocolate World taught me that the best chocolate should look smooth, velvety and shiny just like computer generated Lego plastic. Yum. If anyone out there dabbles in confections please make chocolate Lego people. And send me some. Now.

Betcha think this blog is about you

2011-08-04T10:59:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't been voyeuring much lately.

I've been stressed out. Our two year old is potty training, our baby is, well, only four months old and our dog was attacked by another dog and had minor surgery. Some days I am trying to nurse a crying infant at the same time my two year old needs help in the bathroom at the same time my dog is dripping dog bite ooze onto the floor. <sigh>

I was also out of town for a bit. My husband played hours of games while I was gone and triumphantly beat Assassins Creed: Brotherhood. I was not there to witness it. I do feel, however, I was responsible for his victory. A few days before I left I figured out a puzzle he could not. There was much rejoicing. I may or may not have air humped the TV.

My husband is currently playing Bastion, a downloadable for the 360. Initially, I thought it would be a good watch. It is not. The action is all boring and role-playing like. Basically, all you do is walk around and collect "shards." I live in Baltimore City. I can collect shards on my front side walk.

I do like the way the backgrounds are drawn even though there is always random stuff floating around like snow or leaves or dust or something. The sultry voiced narrator is a neat way to reveal the story, but he takes the fun out of it for me. He does what I like to do: dole out witty play by play.

When asked to review Bastion in five words, my husband said, "Storytelling makes good game better." Apparently he prefers the narrator's commentary over mine. <sigh again>

Have you ever done that thing where you drink some milk, hold it in your mouth, add chocolate syrup and the "swishle" it around? I haven't either, but I just whooshed my beer around in my mouth as I contemplated what to write next and it reminded me of that. I think I saw someone do it on an episode of Full House once. On Gilmore Girls, Lorelai adds ranch dressing directly to a salad mix, jostles it and then eats it right out of the bag with a fork. That one I have tried. It's genius.

Dude looks like a lady

2011-07-21T09:56:00.000-07:00

A few posts back I stated that my husband often played video games as a girl. No, he does not dress in drag and wield a controller. Yes, he often chooses to play through a video game as a female character. For awhile I was curious and a bit concerned. What did it mean? What did it say about him? About us?

In short, more important questions have come to consume my mind (like, "how do I discipline my two year old?" and "should I paint my toenails purple or turquoise?") so it has been awhile since I bothered to reconsider this spousal quirk. But, since it came up in an earlier entry, I thought it was high time I got the cold, hard facts on cross-gaming. Here is the transcript of my interview with my husband (don't worry I plan to keep my day job):

In games where you have the choice, will you always choose to play as a female?
No, but I often will.

Why?
Basically, it comes down to what you want to look at for hours on end. The female characters are hot. And I get to dress her however I want.

Oh. Do you want to dress me however you want?
I like when you wear skirts.

I am wearing a skirt right now. Do you like it?
If you were a video game character I would play as you.

Because you like looking at my butt in a skirt?
Something like that.

Ok, ok, back to being serious. Would you consider yourself a male lesbian?
This was your serious question?

I am trying to get at the hidden truth behind cross-gaming.
I am a man. I like to look at women. That's it. Simple.

Yes, yes, men are simple.
Is the game play any different as a chick?
No, unless it has something to do with being that specific character. In Borderlands, for example, I played through the game as all four characters, only one of whom was a girl. They all had different abilities which changed the experience. In Mass Effect, I played as a female character, but I could choose to hit on women to further the story cause hitting on guys, even as a girl is...

Uh huh. I see. Cool. I'm gonna go get a beer. Do you want a beer?
That's it?

Yeah, that's it. You're not video game gay. I get it. I'm satisfied.

Top 9 games to watch

2011-07-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

I repeat: top 10 lists are overrated. Top 9 lists are how I roll. And, to throw another number into the mix, my husband and I just celebrated 7 years of marriage. Happy Anniversary, baby. Here are the top 9 games (in no particular order) I have watched over those (and a few more) years:

1. The Resident Evil Series - Neither my husband nor I can remember exactly which installments of this game series I have watched. All I know is that these games give me just enough tingle. They are psych-yourself-out scary. This may be where my video game voyeurism began, in a dark dorm room, with about 12 other students, laughing at the gamer who just peed himself.

2. World of Goo - simple, but awesome. You manipulate goo for pete's sake! I was pregnant for the first time when this came out. It was about all my brain could handle. It was soothing in its "mesmerization."

3. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas - I know this game should offend me, but it does not. Sometimes I even felt bad for Carl. His life (and his woman) was no picnic.

4. Puzzle Quest - watching this game was almost romantic. I would curl up on the couch behind my husband while he played. We would listen to The National over the game's goofy soundtrack and unwind. I would help him find groups of four gems. I would state that he was "victorious!" when he defeated the enemy.

5. Rainbow Six Vegas 2 - As I mentioned before, this was a first person shooter I could get behind. It had class. I watched the co-op mode of this game almost every night for awhile. I even learned the cheap places you could stand to take out a dozen guys as they came down the ladder.

6. Burnout - Mostly I just liked watching the part where you strategically launch your vehicle in the air so that it would crash into as many tankers as possible, blowing up as many other cars as possible in order to gracefully slide through the icon that would blow you up yet again so you could get "times 4" points. Yeehaa!

7. Shadow of the Colossus - Epic. Even though the hand grip timer gave me anxiety attacks similar to middle school gym class, I always loved watching this game. I enjoyed the hunt for the glowing weak spots atop the huge hairy beasts. Stab on.

8. The "mount her" fighting game - I can't recall the name of this game and I am too lazy to find out. During fights, the narrator constantly chants "counter," but it sounds like "mount her" and it cracks me up every time. Fighting games are fun to watch in general. The outfits and character names alone make it worthwhile.

9. Super Mario Bros. - A few football seasons ago, my Baltimore Ravens lost a playoff game to Indy. Everyone who gathered for our viewing party almost left completely distraught. Thankfully, two friends busted out the Wii to play the original version of Super Mario Bros. to close out the night. We all rooted them on, shrieking at the near deaths (those enemies are ruthless in their strolling along). When they beat the entire game by the skin of their teeth we all felt somehow justified. And satisfied.

I hope you enjoyed my list. Now tell me...what do YOU like to watch...

Preach it, brother

2011-07-08T18:27:00.000-07:00

The Battlefield fans are restless. I believe it bothers them deeply that I have my doubts. One particular friend of mine, who I will refer to as snowjumpstump (SJS), was moved to message me,

"i think you and i should have a sit down
about the merits of battlefield bad company 2
and why that game has helped shape battlefield 3

and how AWESOME it's going to be!"

You have to admire his conviction. I just can't get into watching games like this, Call of Duty, etc.

Our conversation went on to conjure up the idea of me watching him and his buddies play. Surely, I would then be converted. An added bonus: I could see a PS3 perform and finally decide to buy one for the hubs.

This was exciting. I was being wooed by another. But then, wouldn't it be cheating if I watched another man play? SJS is a happily married AVG (avid video gamer) to a beautiful VGV (video game voyeur) of his own. Even in the name of Battlefield one would have to be mad to belittle such bliss.

We came to our senses. SJS would simply bring his PS3 to my place. He would play with my husband, therefore making it fully acceptable for me to watch. Kinky...

In seriousness, the challenge is on. SJS has proclaimed his mission to bring me to Battlefield. I appreciate his concern for my voyeuristic soul. Really, I think he just wants to convince me to buy my husband a PS3 and BF3 so they can play online.

The new game launches in 102 days. Fellow fans: start praying.

Hear me meow

2011-07-05T18:31:00.000-07:00

I had a lovely holiday weekend at home. One of the nights, my husband grilled a succulent salmon for our dinner. He chilled white wine and brought the laptop to the table to play some music. Soon after we finished eating he pulled up an online list of the best upcoming 360 games. How romantic.

I suppose it was thoughtful of him to give me the heads up on what I will be watching (and you will be reading). He thought I might need blog fodder. Blog fodder. That sounds naughty...or Irish. I'll blog your fodder.

Anyway, here is a recap of our "intimate" dinner conversation:

Gears of War 3 is coming out in September. All I remember about the previous game is the chainsaw gun. Time to "gear" up for some more quality hacking.

As I mentioned in a previous post, Battlefield 3 will be launching soon. I'll reluctantly give it a chance. Maybe the dudes in this game will have better butts than the competition.

Saints Row: The Third is certain to hit my house in early January. Helping my husband skank out his female figure (he often plays as a girl...more on this in a future post) equals Happy New Years to me.

Other games I am sure I will watch include: Mass Effect 3, BioShock Infinite and Assassin's Creed Revelations. I particularly like watching Assassin's Creed, but since the current game just made my husband grumble, "what do these people want from me?" I am assuming this one might be further down on his mental gotta game list.

Finally, and really all of this to say, Batman: Arkham City is coming out in just a few short months. We women typically turn to Cosmo or People to discover how to lure a man. We have been sorely misguided. What a man wants is Catwoman. I intend to live vicariously through her. I invite you to join me. Hear me meow.

Pillow talk

2011-06-29T17:39:00.000-07:00

You know you're married to an AVG (avid video gamer) when he reads to you from Game Informer as you drift off to sleep. You know you're a VGV (video game voyeur) when you grab the mag away from him to see for yourself.

This was the case the other night when my husband revealed "Michael Phelps: Push the Limit" was coming out for the 360 in the fall. My response: Do you swim in first person or Speedo view?

You yell "boost" to get an edge. You hype the crowd by moving wildly. You actually bend over to dive in. You flail your arms to finish first. Clearly, you need to be Richard Simmons to play this game.

Now for a round of "would you rather..."

Would you rather watch your husband ride in Richard Simmons's sidecar or watch him play Michael Phelps?
Would you rather watch your husband give Richard Simmons a piggy back or watch him play Michael Phelps?

Would you rather watch your husband hold hands and skip with Richard Simmons or watch him play Michael Phelps?

These are tough choices. I would love to watch them all. But I choose Michael Phelps. Start shaving, honey...

We're gonna have a good time

2011-06-22T16:17:00.000-07:00

My birthday is coming up and I am throwing myself a big party. Call me old fashioned, but we will neither play nor watch any video games at this gathering. I believe we will still manage to have some fun.

My husband's birthday is coming up in a few months. We will not be throwing him a big party so I want to be sure to mark the occasion appropriately. Brainstorming has begun.

I know something he would really like: a PS3.

His console coveting has slowed down. He waited in line all night to buy a PS2. He drove all around Baltimore to find a Game Cube the day after it launched. He nearly froze to death at the midnight release for the Wii. He settled on a 360 after the second time around. But he has only ever talked about a PS3.

Now, despite my "involvement" with video games I have never bought my husband anything video game related. It is a line I have chosen not to cross. It works for us. However, I am willing to cross that line to ensure my husband's fourth decade is more pleasurable than his third. The dilemma I am really facing is that if he owns a PS3 it pretty much guarantees he will play Battlefield 3.

I just can't get into watching these schizophrenic, sensory overload, run around and shoot like its a penny a round, first person shooters. I hide my face behind my Real Simple. Bathing to Black Ops is not relaxing. I long for simpler, quieter times. I miss Rainbow Six Vegas 2.

I would lie on the couch, curled behind my husband. I would wear the headset. Not only did I get to bark orders to our friends, I got the dish on their new girlfriends. I had a purpose. I was comfortable.

So, I don't know. I am just glad my husband also plays games like Puzzle Quest. If he wants a PS3 as much as I think he does perhaps I will break down and buy it for him. BF3 is coming out for the 360 anyway. Maybe love is Battlefield.

Come peep with me

2011-06-19T18:58:00.000-07:00

I live a typical life for a woman of my generation. I own a home, two cars and a dog. I have 2 young children. My husband is an avid video gamer.

I never owned a video game console. But now, thanks to nuptial law, I own all of Nintendo's systems, a PS1, a PS2 and a 360. I respect my spouse's interests. Though I willingly pick up his Wii-mote, I am not a player. I use the 360 to stream Netflix and watch DVDs. I have a gamertag, but no gamerscore.

I have observed a lot about video gaming over the years. Last night I learned that "you're giant", "just tap that", "whatever you have I don't want it" and "I want to hit you with my huge baseball bat" are common things to exclaim while playing Super Smash Bros. with your buddy. I also learned I might need to be jealous of Samus.

Video gaming is a big part of my husband's life and therefore a big part of mine. He works hard and loves us very much. He even kind of watched Gilmore Girls with me today. In return I can accept that our peaceful evenings may play out to the sounds of zombies being shot at from close range.

So, in part, this blog is for him. Happy Father's Day, baby. I hope you like it too.