Thursday, August 11, 2011

I smell sex and candy

My husband became acutely concerned by my stated lack of voyeuring.  The very next day he traded in several games for several others, one of which is Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga.  He has seemingly been playing it nonstop since.

I am a Lego game virgin.  Shocking, I know.  And I call myself a video game voyeur...

In short, I like it.  It's cute.  Plus, there is nothing like a video game with a killer epic soundtrack.  I suppose it's not the manliest game my husband could play, but he has no need to compensate.  You should see his stud total.

I don't know much about Lego's or Star Wars for that matter, but I appreciate the fabulous geek concoction this game creates.  My husband seems to enjoy drinking it all in and that makes me happy.  I am pretty sure this game was born out of male adolescent fantasy in the way "Pink Elephants on Parade" was born out of an acid trip.  

My favorite aspect of the game are the Jedi characters because they look like little white and milk chocolate bites of deliciousness.  Hersheypark's Chocolate World taught me that the best chocolate should look smooth, velvety and shiny just like computer generated Lego plastic.  Yum.  If anyone out there dabbles in confections please make chocolate Lego people.  And send me some.  Now.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Betcha think this blog is about you

So, I haven't been voyeuring much lately. 

I've been stressed out.  Our two year old is potty training, our baby is, well, only four months old and our dog was attacked by another dog and had minor surgery.  Some days I am trying to nurse a crying infant at the same time my two year old needs help in the bathroom at the same time my dog is dripping dog bite ooze onto the floor.  <sigh>

I was also out of town for a bit.  My husband played hours of games while I was gone and triumphantly beat Assassins Creed: Brotherhood.  I was not there to witness it.  I do feel, however, I was responsible for his victory.  A few days before I left I figured out a puzzle he could not.  There was much rejoicing.  I may or may not have air humped the TV.

My husband is currently playing Bastion, a downloadable for the 360.  Initially, I thought it would be a good watch.  It is not.  The action is all boring and role-playing like.  Basically, all you do is walk around and collect "shards."  I live in Baltimore City.  I can collect shards on my front side walk.

I do like the way the backgrounds are drawn even though there is always random stuff floating around like snow or leaves or dust or something.  The sultry voiced narrator is a neat way to reveal the story, but he takes the fun out of it for me.  He does what I like to do: dole out witty play by play. 

When asked to review Bastion in five words, my husband said, "Storytelling makes good game better."  Apparently he prefers the narrator's commentary over mine.  <sigh again>

Have you ever done that thing where you drink some milk, hold it in your mouth, add chocolate syrup and the "swishle" it around?  I haven't either, but I just whooshed my beer around in my mouth as I contemplated what to write next and it reminded me of that.  I think I saw someone do it on an episode of Full House once.  On Gilmore Girls, Lorelai adds ranch dressing directly to a salad mix, jostles it and then eats it right out of the bag with a fork.  That one I have tried.  It's genius.